Blue Moon New Year's Eve 2009

[Pete] Out with the 2000's and in with the 2010's! A Blue Moon New Year's Eve doesn't happen that often. Neither does ushering in a new decade.

Everyone is talking about their top ten of this past year. Top 10 films of 2009. Top 10 songs of 2009. I'm going to one up them and try to give the top 10 things of the past decade. It is hard to know what all should be on a list like this. Perhaps it is the most significant things that changed me. Perhaps it is the most enjoyable things I accomplished. Regardless, they were hard to rank exactly. Here they are in all their glory:

10. Won Fantasy Sports Championships. I love competition. I played sports and games growing up. I just love the actual play/game of it. Thanks to some buddies in college I got into fantasy sports. Baseball and Football mostly. But I enjoy the hobby. The draft is the most fun. Then the trade talks. Then the wins. It might not be on anyone else's top 10 list of the past decade, but I have had a lot of fun with this hobby. It's better than other things on the Internet.... that's for sure. Regardless, it has been a good time. I should make money at it instead... or take up playing the stock market.

9. Moved the remaining items of mine out of my parents house. I left home in January 1999 to go to school in Dubuque, IA. I've spent 11 years away from Baltimore... although there were at least 2 summers of work there. It is funny to see that when Jacob left home all he had was the clothes he wore. Then he returned home after 14 years with 4 women and a dozen sons and a load of livestock and servants. There's this scene in the movie Garden State where the two main characters discuss this event in life while in a swimming pool. It's pretty good at describing this event in a young man's life... at least for the ones who leave home:

Andrew Largeman (Zach Braff's character): You know that point in your life when you realize the house you grew up in... isn't really your home anymore. All of a sudden, even though you have some place where you put your [stuff]... that
idea of home is gone.

Sam (Natlie Portman's character): I still feel at home in my
house.

Andrew Largeman: You'll see one day when you move out. Just sorta happens one day, and it's gone. You feel like you can never get it back. It's like you feel homesick for a place that doesn't even exist. Maybe it's like this rite of passage, you know? You won't ever have that feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself. You know, for... For your kids. For the family you start. It's like a cycle or something. I don't know. But I miss the idea of it, you know? Maybe that's all family really is. A group of people that miss the same imaginary place.

Sam: Maybe.

8. Travelled further West. Growing up in Baltimore, MD we regularly headed to Sturgis, MI, our birthplace to see family and friends. Not too far west. But west. We went north for camp into western NY. I even got to Toronto, Canada, crossing at Niagra Falls, and having seen the Falls a couple of times previously. We got to see the eastern part of the US. Sometimes hitting Western Virginia, Ohio, and Pennsylvania. I even went to Virginia a couple of times. Schooling in Dubuque, IA gave me a better sense of the Midwest. I hit Illinois, Wisconsin, Minnesota, Missouri, and for one special wedding, crept through Mississippi to get to Louisiana. Nothing like going on a swamp tour to see gators the morning before the wedding. Even went south into Tennessee, Georgia, and Florida, one spring break. But then I moved to Texas. Swore I'd never drive through Arkansas again, but I have. I've driven into Oklahoma and Kansas, but it still isn't that far west is it. Well, some of our summer vacations being married the past few years has taken me farther west past the continental divide (the "Great Divide" according to Johnny Cash). I really welcomed Colorado. I've been through portions of New Mexico, and this past May hit Arizona. I really have enjoyed the past decade heading further west in travels. By the way, when we got to the Grand Canyon it was totally foggy. It cleared later int he day, thankfully, but if you ever go, the local Grand Canyon tour bus guy said the best time of year to visit the Grand Canyon is early October. less crowds and better weather and better tree colors. I have also traveled east. I made it to London, flew over France and landed and spent an enjoyable honeymoon in Spain.

7. Graduated from Emmaus Bible College (2001). I really enjoyed my time in the classroom at Emmaus. The profs were great. I learned a ton. I began to read a lot more than I ever had before. My books will tell you the same. I enjoyed my first crack at being away from the parental pad. I stayed busy. I didn't watch much TV during this time... and I didn't miss it. Maybe it is not just the graduation event (even with honors) that makes the top 10, but I am the first in my immediate family to have gotten a higher education degree. I just loved the learning. I constantly talked about what was taught in class, either in class, or with friends outside of class. It was great! I was rarely bored. Even had a good job... Campus Security.

6. Wrote a Thesis (2008). Don't ask me why, but it was the only thing I ever wanted to do once I decided to go to grad school. I had to wait a while to do it, and it was stressful to do, but that was the only thing I really looked forward to accomplishing. My thesis, "What Do The Patriarchs Have To Do With The Resurrection? Jesus' Use of Covenant Language In His Debate With The Sadducees" is now in three libraries... at least. Dallas Theological Seminary, Emmaus Bible College, and Community Bible Chapel's library. It was a 3 credit thesis, as opposed to the normative 2 credit thesis. Matt 22:23-33, Mark 12:18-27, and Luke 20:27-40 all describe Jesus' debate about the future resurrection of the righteous. However, the Sadducees were strict constitutionalists and would only be persuaded by evidence from the Pentateuch. Jesus easily quotes Exodus 3:6 in support. However, interpreters have had a very difficult time understanding the way it supports the doctrine of the resurrection. My thesis details the history or research on the matter and proposes an update to the best solution that had previously been offered. Lots more could be said.

5. Graduated from Dallas Theological Seminary (2008). You know there are always these made up johnny-on-the spot rules that you can take a mulligan in some game/sport you are playing with friends. This is one I'd take a mulligan on and have a re-do. The ThM in Academic Ministries (NT Emphasis) was very good in a number of ways. I enjoyed the study of the original languages and the OT and NT departments are filled with very good professors and scholars in their fields. I loved it. I love to learn. The ThM is, however, the longest master's degree offered in the world (120 credits including an internship). I already had a B.S. in Biblical Studies. So a number of classes were repeats. Ughh.... I should have done an MA in OT and NT or in Archaeology at Wheaton and have done what took 5 years to do in much less time. In the medical field I could be an MD by now! In some great ways I needed to be in Dallas. In other ways it was too long to accomplish this task. It wore me out from wanting to go further just yet. So many things I would have changed on that front. At least it didn't take me into debt. Maybe this should be lower on the list... like a 6 or a 7? 5-8 are interchangeable in their order probably.

4. Changed as a person. I'm 30 years old. Sure my physical body changed. I am stronger in some areas but weaker in others. The 20's were the peak years probably. I spent them in classrooms. Not the best way to utilize those years physically. Could use another mulligan maybe. Regardless, I've changed a lot as a person too. I went from being a bit more dogmatic to a more gracious holder of truth, at least I hope I have. At Community Bible Chapel we took a couple of years to go through the Gospel According to Matthew. Man it was great. I've never been changed so much as a person in church as I did going through that series. I can't imagine a better way to shape your ideals in your 20's. The young adult's class and friends and roommates really helped me understand the kingdom life I should be living as Jesus taught. It was such an intense time of change for me. I hope it sticks for the better.

3. Made more friends. Everywhere you go people are people. I once read (in Chris Matthews's book Life's a Campaign: What Politics Has Taught Me about Friendship, Rivalry, Reputation, and Success) that people can be thought of in 3 categories. (a) About a third of the people you meet in life you make friends instantly. (b) Another third of the people you meet in life you just don't like or they just don't like you. Not a whole lot of reason about it other than personality differences. (c) Then the last third of people in life you meet you have to put effort in to make the friendship work. For some reason I feel like I've met a lot of people who I made friends with instantly (a). Over the years they have moved away or I have moved away from the common living region. In either of those scenarios, when I see them again, we just pick right back up where we left off. I also learned that if you do not make the effort to keep up communication in the friendship then there's more to catch up on the next time your paths meet... and that often means some trials are missed all together. I've even become friends of a few New York Yankees fans and a few Dallas Cowboy fans and lone Pittsburgh Steelers fan married my wife and I. It's possible. By the way, watching the New York Yankees lose to the Arizona Diamondbacks in the 2001 World Series was just the best roller coaster of entertainment ever in sports watching. Awesome World Series. If I could get each complete game on a DVD set from that World Series it would make for an awesome birthday gift or Christmas gift... if you're in to the whole gifting thing.

2. Became a father (2009). My friend Adam just posted how he feels about the possibility of becoming a dad this year. He has "thoughts [that] range from excitement to apprehension." I don't know if I felt that way during Victoria's pregnancy with Charlotte. All men are different. Maybe I was too busy, or maybe I have had so much experience around kids in church be it at camps or in the Lambs at CBC (the 2-4 year olds), but becoming a father just came as naturally to me as riding a bike does. It is not an uncommon thing to be a dad, by any means. It's fun. It's work. It's tiring at times. The first months were hardest with all the things to be done along with caring for a newborn. But man, now that we are in a good routine it's darn good fun! The coo's the smiles, the expressions. Charlotte has just melted my heart. She's fun to interact with. I used to think that manly men had boys. But now I'm changing to think that manly men are men with enough testosterone to outweigh the influx of estrogen in a family where the females outnumber the males! Whatever the case may be in determining manhood, I do know diapers were easy from her first one untill now. It really came quite natural for me... this far. I don't know what kind of things girls like to do in their play. I only know Legos, GI Joes, wrestling, and sports. Wish me luck... or email me a tip or two.

1. Met and Married Victoria (2006). If you do not know the story behind Matt 23:37 have us over for dinner or invite yourself over to our place and we'll tell you. It's a good one. I love my bride. She is still an amazingly attractive woman. Thank you Lord.

Some people make New Year's resolution. I want to make some New Decade resolutions for the 2010's. The 2000's are gone. Just imagine what someone could accomplish in the next 10 years if planned well and executed. Here's my list:

Travel overseas. I've always wanted to spend time in the Middle East. Don't ask me why, but seeing the land of the empires of old and written about in the studies I have immersed myself in just makes me want to travel there and see it for myself. More museums too. I just love to learn.

Gray Hair. Just this morning my wife said I have some gray hair that I did not know about. It's a sign of wisdom. So I'll take it.

Be more evangelistic. The more people I get to meet the more I want them to have the great hope I have too.... the hope of eternal (resurrection) life. This year was an interesting one. I know of two people who have died at our local church here in 2009. One died on my birthday and one died on my wife's birthday. "The wages of sin is death but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Rom 6:23 cf. John 3:16-21).

Have more kids. There is a post on this blog that I am working on that is currently unpublished but it will explain this a bit more. Look for it.

Start a career. Relationships are more important to women. Careers are more significant to men. We're different. I recently read an article that had the joy of men and women on a graph over their lifetimes. The joy of women from left to right went steadily downward over the course of time. The joy of men went steadily upward. They crossed in their mid 30's. The reason? Men were finally entering the careers they enjoyed. Not sure why women, in general, trended downward.

Get published. Be it an academic journal article or two, or write a book, I'd like to publish some good research. I'd even enjoy writing a not so academic piece or two. Just got to sit down and do it. I have the ideas in my head already.

I'd love to build a home.

I'd love to own a boat/watercraft... meaning living near water.

These all might be fine and good, but the best resolutions ever written are by America's Greatest Theologian, Jonathan Edwards. His list of Resolutions (scroll down) were read once every week by Edwards in order to keep his mind on his duty before God. Read all 70 or scan a few random ones for yourself to see what I mean. They'll challenge any resolution you ever think to make... and make them better resolutions. Are you resolved enough to read them all for yourself? I hope so.

Bring on the 2010's! I'm as ready as I'll ever get.

Christmas 2009

This year Peter, Charlotte and I spent Christmas at my Mom's new home in Dripping Springs, TX. She has spent the past year or so building a "green" home and it was finally completed this winter. Her wish was to have her immediate family spend Christmas Day with her there, and we all were happy to oblige. My sister, Kati, her husband, Erich, their 15 month-old daughter, Arwen, and my grandmother (mom's mom) were all there, and it was a very peaceful day spent together.

Here are a few pictures of the afternoon festivities and Charlotte's first Christmas. It's amazing how next year this time Charlotte and Arwen will be playing together.

The annual ugly-cowboy-shirt tradition that began in 2004 when I spent my first Christmas with Peter and his family. On his Christmas list he said he wanted a flannel shirt, but specified that he wanted nothing "Texan" or "Cowboyish", so I went to the local Goodwill and found the most hideous cowboy type shirt I could find and made it a Christmas tradition. This year with the business of a new baby, I found myself two days before Christmas with no shirt purchased. I called up my sister in Austin and asked her, "Kati, are you by chance out and about today?". She said, "As a matter of fact, yes, why?...." I told her my predicament and she said she was just two blocks away from a Goodwill store. I told her to call me when she got there with a couple contenders in hand, and to describe them to me. She did one better and emailed me a picture from her phone. My shudder response to the picture told me "this is the one!". So, when we got to Austin she helped me wrap it and found herself smack dab in the middle of our tradition. What a wonderful sister I have!

My brother-in-law, Erich, and my mother opening their Christmas gifts from me and Pete.

Kati and Arwen opening their Christmas gifts and my Grandma meeting her great-grandchild for the first time.


Finally, Charlotte kicking back at my Aunt Ginny's house on the couch, where we stayed Christmas Eve.

A Great Big Love

I think my heart just grew. I think I just literally felt it expand inside my chest this morning. Charlotte was laying on her jungle mat, batting at a little mobile animal, and she started rubbing her eyes - a sure sign of sleepiness. She cooed a bit, the coo that signals "I'm tired", and so I went over and picked her up. I held her close to my chest and she just molded right into it, settling her little head up under my chin with one hand on my shoulder and the other laying on my heart. I have to say at that moment and the moments that followed, my heart grew a couple sizes.

It didn't come right away for me, this great big love. Maybe it was the first few weeks of healing and major sleep deprivation and really just trying to figure out this whole new mom thing, that my mind and heart were too preoccupied to really understand this amazing blessing the Lord had just given me. But, now, now the magnitude of this gift and the greatness of this love is settling in and I've never known anything like it. Sure, there are moments of frustration when she's been crying for a half hour and I can't seem to soothe her, or when she's just so tired she won't even eat, but those moments pass quickly and thankfully the ones that sink in are those like this morning. Moments I'll remember forever - the smell of the top of her head, her soft downy hair under my chin as she nuzzles in for a good cuddle nap, the smiles and coo laughter she gives us whenever we bring her to the changing table (for some reason, that's her happy place), the way she locks eyes with me when I'm nursing and it seems as if the two of us are the only ones in the universe. A great big love indeed.

I have to say, I was a bit worried about having a daughter. I was told about and have witnessed mothers and daughters having tough relationships and heard it's always easier with mothers and sons. My own relationship with my mother is good now, but it had its share of ups and downs over the years. So, I was a bit concerned about the connection I'd have with my daughter, or wonder if there would be much of one. Now there are no questions in my mind. The love I have for Charlotte has erased any doubt I have had in my mind about whether or not we'd have a good connection. I prayed for months before I had her that if it was a girl that the Lord would be in the middle of our relationship from the start and that he would bring us close together. How could I have had any doubts? That prayer has been answered, and so many more too. She is such a delight in our lives and I can't imagine not having her with us; it seems as if she's always been here in mine and Peter's heart, carving out a place from the very beginning of our love for one another. A great big love.

Mommy's Little Pumpkin

Daddy Days

Daddy enjoying snuggle time with Charlotte.

Charlotte at one month.....

Charlotte all ready for winter.

Charlotte experiencing her first snowfall with Daddy in Dallas.

Charlotte's morning stretching ritual as she wakes up. I think these smiles are real - no poopie diaper followed. The smiles are what keep me going.

Charlotte Playing

Just a quick one of our cutie playing on her "jungle mat".

Nap time and Bath time

The past few weeks have gone by so fast and I can hardly believe we have an almost one month old. It's amazing how much she changes every day. Here are a few photos of one of Charlotte's favorite past times - bath time.....and one of mommy's favorite past times - nap time. I only wish I got more of them - naps that is...








Charlotte taking a bath and enjoying the warm water.



More bath time shots.




All snuggled up post-bath.

Scars are cool

[Pete] The week before Thanksgiving I had two doctors appointments. One for an ear nose and throat specialist and one with a dermatologist for a spot of concern over my right eyebrow. Charlotte had a doctor's appointment too.

Needless to say, we both got hit by the vampires: Charlotte had some blood drawn on her foot and I got the spot above my eyebrow removed for testing.

Our bodies are amazing gifts and tools. They really are so very plastic it seems. They repair themselves and with them we produce things.

A prevailing thought I had in the days shortly after Victoria gave birth to Charlotte (o by the way, Victoria and Charlotte do not prefer nicknames... their full names please): Our greatest commodity as humans is to be able to bring new people into God's creation. According to the Bible angelic beings cannot (or at least do not have the privilege to) reproduce living creatures after their own kind. We as humans do.

Also, angelic being long to see the salvation we as humans can enter into. When a third of the angelic beings fell in sin under the evil one's rebellion, the offer of forgiveness was not available for them after that decision. For humanity, God has been even more generous. He has provided a way of salvation after sin. Something angels long to catch a glimpse of (1 Peter 1:10-12). No wonder some angels must get jealous.

Have you ever heard someone call their daughter an "angel"? I have. I always want to shoot back... "you mean... sinner." Not to be mean, but in order that the truth of their condition is clear from the beginning. They are humans, not angels, and all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God (Rom 3:23).

This actually leads to some greater thoughts that I've thought, thanks to the likes of Diogenes Allen's book Philosophy for Understanding Theology (I've linked to the most recent edition of his book but will be citing his 1985 edition that I own). Specifically, in his introduction chapter he writes about the generosity of God:

God's freedom in creation is the reason we view creation as an act of sheer generosity and also the reason God is unknowable in essence or being. ... God is the Creator and that the existence and order of the universe show that God is generous. Without being able to comprehend divine being, we know from the act of creation that God is generous, and we know something of the immensity of divine generosity from the nature of the world. That gift does not, however, exhaust the extent of God's generosity. We learn this from the second way God is related to us, namely through the call of the people of Israel to a specific mission and through the incarnation. In creation God gave the physical universe its nature, and to human beings God gave their kind of life. But with the acts of calling Israel and becoming incarnate for our sakes, we learn that God created us in order to have a life with God, indeed that we are ultimately to share the divine life, which is beyond our mode of existence. Divine generosity is thus greater than we could realize simply from God's being related to us as Creator. Only in seeing God as Redeemer, indeed as Redeemer in Christ do we realize the even greater depths of divine generosity.

However immense the generosity expressed by God as Creator and incarnate Redeemer, the inexhaustible source from which that generosity springs is beyond our comprehensions. ...God's actions never exhaust the divine nature, and we know God only as God acts or relates to us.

This brings me back to angels... not babies, but the actual angelic beings, also in God's created order, but without the ability to procreate. 1 Peter 1:10-12 is where I am getting the following thoughts. Considering that God's acts reveals to us God's great generosity it is interesting to consider it from the perspective of angels. Angels had a choice to fall away and follow Lucifer/Satan, or to remain loyal to their Creator God. Once the choice was made it was not given to the angelic beings to change their loyalties back to God. They understood God's generosity toward them as their Creator.

For human's, however, God's generosity in human procreation, the incarnation of Jesus Christ, and in redemption are all a demonstration of God's generosity beyond what angels had seen before... "things angles long to get a glimpse of" (1 Peter 1:10-12). This is an amazing thing. But you know what? God is even more generous than that. To God be the glory forever and ever. Amen.

Charlotte The Ravens Fan!

I recently heard from a local Steelers fan (BOOOOOOOO) that as kids grow up with parents rooting for a sports team, the kids usually follow suite and root for their parents team. Thanks to Charlotte's grandma Smith we have begun such loyalty a week and a half from birth! I'm going to need some Orioles gear for her soon.

Let's go Ravens!




More important than rooting for my favorite sports teams, I hope and pray that she will delight in the living God and that her allegiance to Jesus Christ is bar none.

Grandparents Arrive... and Uncle Steve

Pete: My folks arrived in Dallas, TX today along with my youngest brother, Steve. My parents came here for our wedding, a visit a half year later, and for my graduation from Dallas Theological Seminary last year. Now it is time to meet their newest addition to the Smith clan: Charlotte Noella Smith.


They bore gifts from friends and family in the process and will be heading off to NM on Monday for a week long trip (this week). We shall see how that picture taking adventure goes when they return for Thanksgiving week.


This was Steve's first time flying as an adult. He got a headache and probably didn't enjoy it as much. What can you say as he wasn't on much sleep after working 3d shift? It is also his first time crossing the Mississippi River and first time to Dallas, TX. He'll be the one to tell you why he wasn't able to quite make it for our wedding and almost missed this trip too. But he made it and that's a good thing!

The plan: Welcome him to Texas with some Baker's Ribs BBQ, home to my favorite ribs and brisket in town.

After arriving, they needed some lunch and introduced them to a local burrito hot spot: Chipotle. Seemed to go over well, but I think they won't be hungry for BBQ until after I am surely hungry. Off to have some fun with the family! It's adventure time!

My Birth Story

It's taken me a week and a half now after Charlotte's birth to find the time, energy, and to collect my thoughts enough to recall the events leading up to and including her birth. Still even now when I finally sit down to write the story, it's hard to know where to begin when now the memories that were so strong and powerful moments after her birth have faded into the sweetness I see when I look at her precious face. But it is a story worth remembering and I hope those who read about it will be able to take with them just a small piece of the blessing it was - a blessing that continue to grow for us with each day we share with her.

It was early morning of November 5th, eleven days past my due date, around 1am, that very mild contractions started about every 20 minutes. I slept through most of them until I started timing them around 4am. They were still steady at 20 minutes apart - very mild yet could still note a start and stop time - at 9am when we were ready to leave for an already scheduled appointment with the midwife. We called her up and asked her what we should do and she told us to come on in, that it would be a good time to check me out and see if there's any progress. On the way there Pete was almost sure that it would be the day we'd have the baby. As for me, I had been having contractions off and on throughout the week and I had been hopeful before, so I was trying not to get my hopes up this time only to get let down again.

At the appointment my midwife, Cecily, checked to see if I was at all dilated. She had checked me two other times already in the past two weeks and each time she couldn't tell because my cervix was posterior; this time was no different. The baby was at a +1 position though which told us that she was moving down in the birth canal a bit. She told us she thought the baby would be here soon, and to go ahead and go home and get some rest. All the way home I continued to have contractions every 20 minutes apart of equal intensity - mild to very moderate. We stopped by Big Lots on the way home to get a couple things and then headed home. Once at home, at around 11am, the contractions very quickly went from 20 minutes between contractions - mild intensity, to 10 to 5 to 3 minutes between contractions, lasting about a minute each - medium intensity. We called the midwife and doula and both told us to hang in there and labor at home as long as it felt comfortable, no need to rush to the hospital yet. I was eating my lunch (Top Ramen - still with the pregnancy cravings) and was just barely able to finish it between contractions. My doula, Michelle, said if you can smile for a picture it's not time to go to the hospital yet. I was still smiling, so I told her okay, and that we'd call back when I wasn't. Pete had to call her back not more than 15 minutes later, reporting no smile on my face and contractions lasting 90 seconds long and a two minute break between each one. He called her and our midwife, Cecily, and told them we're on our way to the hospital. The contractions strengthened in intensity on the way to the hospital and once we got out of the car, I had to stop on the sidewalk twice on the way into the building to have another contraction, hanging on Peter bear-hug style with each one. This soon became my favorite position to go through each contraction.

We got the the admission desk and there were a couple other women there who were staring at me like I was some sort of circus act as I experienced each contraction in the waiting area. Either they had never seen a woman in labor or else they were in that 20 minute apart stage of labor and freaking out at the thought of what their labor would look like in a few hours as they were witnessing live proof of it in me. We were given a whole stack of forms to fill out, and I'm sitting there in the waiting room having serious contractions, still 90 seconds long and one after the other, thinking there's no way I can concentrate on any forms but only on getting through the next contraction. I went to the desk and told her I preregistered and can't fill anything out right now. I think she saw the serious look in my eyes that told her she would soon be part of this circus act if she didn't let me skip through all the red tape. I asked her to flip to those where I had to sign and I just signed my name - I have no idea what I signed and at that point I really didn't care. At that point Cecily walked in and was there to help right away.

They then had me go across the hall to the triage area. I presume this is the area where they check most women out and see if they've progressed far enough to stay or if they need to go back home. Thankfully Cecily was there right away to meet us and help us through the process. They had me change into my nightgown and get up on the bed to strap in the baby monitors. They checked the heartbeat as I had a few more contractions and during one of them the rate was quite low. Cecily had me change positions and it quickened up right away. She checked me for dilation and my cervix, low and behold, was no longer in hiding, but already at a 5 and I was about 80% effaced, and +2 station.

It was now about 1:30pm and they finally had a room available in labor and delivery. They asked me if I could walk over there or needed to be wheeled in the bed. Seeing as how I couldn't move any more when a contraction hit, I told them to go ahead and wheel me over - on the way another huge one hit and I was glad I had that option. I got to the labor and delivery room and soon after that my water broke. I decided to labor standing up, as it felt much better than laying in bed. I hung onto Peter most of the time in a bear hug fashion. Cecily and Michelle suggested I try to sit in the bath and so I gave it a shot. It was a nice change to feel the warm water on me and helped me get to the next stage of labor a bit more easily. About this time I had a few contractions that came one after another with no break. I remember thinking, this one will be over soon and I'll get to rest, but then right at the peak, another peak followed. It was then that I had a moment where I thought I would lose all control but knew that wasn't an option. I realized there was no turning back now and I had to ride this out to the end. I tried to keep my rhythm going with the moans I made for each contraction - tried to keep my voice low and my muscles relaxed. The hardest thing I've ever done in my life, by far. I realized at this point why so many women get drugs, but at the same time the option of doing so never materialized in my mind to anything more than that realization. I wanted to experience the fullness of this birth, and that was exactly what I was doing. I knew with each contraction I was coming closer to the end and I knew it wouldn't last forever. I just kept telling myself, just be in the moment, have this one contraction and don't think of anything past it. I always prided myself on having run marathons and the stamina and strength it takes to do such a feat. My pride was demolished in the face of these contractions. I know now my marathon running self has nothing on all the women out there who have given birth naturally. It's a whole other league than anything I've been up against before.

After the water cooled a bit and I could feel myself shaking, I got up and went back to laboring by the bed. Cecily checked me again and found that I was 7cm dilated and 90% effaced. She checked in another hour or so, around 3:30pm and I was 9cm, and then fully dilated at around 4pm. She told me I could start pushing if I felt the urge. I felt the urge and had been told there was relief of sorts in the pushing stage and I was at the point where any relief I thought would be a great thing. It turns out that pushing hurt just as much as the contractions, but with it came an element of control that encouraged me to keep going. With the contractions, they just overtook me and didn't give me options for my response; with pushing, I could be an active participant and at least feel like I had a part in the process moving forward.

I tried pushing leaning over the side of the bed a few times with little success. Cecily suggested I try to sit up in bed and push there; I followed her suggestion and made a little progress there. I asked her if gravity would help if I stood up and squatted while I pushed, and she told me I could give it a try. I stood by the side of the bed and squatted down to the ground with each push and then Peter and Michelle helped me up to lean over the bed while I rested between pushes.

I was told that by this time I had been pushing for a little over an hour. I lost all track of time and if you asked me afterward, I might have told you I had only been pushing for a half hour or so. There were moments during this time where I wasn't sure all my effort was working to get little Charlotte out. Then, finally I could start to hear in Peter's voice the excitement as I got closer to the end. He was watching the whole thing and could see the progress of Charlotte's head crowning. Cecily asked me at one point toward the end if I wanted to reach down and feel the baby's head. I did and it was a good encouragement to know I was close to the end. I could feel the pain of her head crowning just kept thinking how true the "ring of fire" expression was that I had heard by so many women before me. For the final pushes I was so exhausted that I got down on all fours to gain the energy to bring our little baby into the world. With the last push, I gave everything I had and pushed out Charlotte's whole body - head, shoulders, body and all in one push. Charlotte came out with one hand on each side of her head, which I think probably made the process a bit more difficult. I can't remember ever wanting anything to happen as badly in my life as I wanted this little baby out at last. Along with the pain of that final push came a feeling of great relief as I felt her exit my body.

Once she was out, they took her to the station next to the bed to clean her off and make sure she was strong and healthy. I told Peter to go be with her while I caught my breath. I was still on my hands and knees and could barely breathe. I stayed there for a couple minutes while Michelle encouraged me to take some deep breaths and helped me relax enough to stand up. Michelle and the nurses helped me back to the bed to deliver the placenta and get stitched up. I remember Cecily asking me to give another couple pushes to deliver the placenta, and I guess I pushed because it came out, but I remember not feeling any muscle control remaining within me to push anymore. I was thankfully able to escape without an episiotomy, but did experience a bit of tearing due to her hands being next to her head when she came out.


Peter called out, "It's a Girl!" and announced her name, Charlotte Noella Smith. It made me so happy to hear him introduce her and I could hear him anxiously wanting the nurses to finish up so Charlotte could "be with her mother". I could hear him saying that she pooped right there at the baby station when they were cleaning her up. Healthy girl! They brought her to me as I was getting stitched up, which was a good distraction for me. She was brought to my chest, skin to skin, and immediately started breastfeeding. I knew very quickly that she'd do great, as she had quite a strong suckle from the start. A week and a half later now, she has turned out to be quite a good feeder.

They checked my blood pressure after we were both all cleaned up and together, and it was extremely high. So high that they needed it to come down a bit before they were able to bring me to my private post delivery room. I also couldn't stop shaking, which continued for the next day, I believe due to all the adrenaline that came from a fully unmedicated birth. It finally came down enough to move me to the post delivery room but never down to my pre-labor pressure I had that morning, even by the time I left the hospital.

I was glad I had the option to stay in the hospital for two days because I'm not sure I could have even made it out to the car before then. I'm not sure if it was from all the squatting during labor and pushing or from the tearing or all the muscles used I've never used before, but I was so sore it made it difficult to even change positions in bed, let alone get out of bed to go to the bathroom or pick up Charlotte. I had to have either Peter or a nurse hand Charlotte to me each time I had to feed her and to take her again when I had to go to the bathroom. I had always heard of my friends who had their babies naturally going home that day or soon after and never anticipated it being this difficult to recover. But, now a week and a half later, the pain from healing is virtually gone and thankfully the memories of that pain weaken with each passing day. I just remember that night after I had her and the following day, the distinct feeling of having undergone a major traumatic event. If someone had asked me that day if I wanted anymore children, I'm not sure I could have said yes. I thank the Lord those feelings fade, because if they didn't, no woman would ever have more than one child in her life, at least unmedicated. So, now a week and a half later, the pain having faded both physically and mentally, I can say with full confidence that yes, I definitely want more children. But, I won't complain if we wait six months before trying again.

There were so many answered prayers worth noting for this birth story. First and foremost, Charlotte came on her own and I didn't have to be induced. I was able to experience a fully unmedicated birth. I had her during the day rather than the middle of the night. I didn't have to have an episiotomy. It was a relatively quick and uncomplicated labor and delivery - the bulk of the process taking right around five hours. And, most importantly, the Lord gave us a beautiful, healthy baby girl at the end of it all. Praise the Lord indeed!

Odds and Ends...

Pete: I have resided in Dallas, TX for 7 years now. This has been the most enjoyable autumn colors I have seen. Thursday morning November 5th I remembered to capture a few images of it's beauty before the event that changed my life completely. We were on our way to the scheduled appointment with Victoria's midwife and I just knew it was the day. So here I write the last few odds and ends of childless adulthood that I remember in chronological order, thus setting the stage for the event of events later in the day.

Like I said, I knew it was the day. I snapped a final few poses of Victoria pregnant in our living room.

We left for the midwife appointment and the rear driver's side window of the back seat kept sliding down since the motor was so strong it broke a part that held the window up (I fixed it temporarily with the almighty Duct Tape the next day).

The autumn leaves on Markville heading toward T. I. Blvd were more yellow than other colors.

The Parking meter that is the best ever was open and we parked to use it. A single dime gets you a whole hour of parking. We put 2 dimes in. I was feeling generous. [Victoria: I call it the "Magic Meter".]

After parking, we walk to the Baylor hand in hand as usual, past an elderly housing building. One of the ladies who works there loves to see us walk by as she does some work outside. She said she likes to see us still in love (holding hands).

After the midwife appointment we stopped by a Big Lots! for something. They didn't have it but they did have an eye catching pink Christmas tree.

Turned on the radio to try to distract my wife while she labored in the car. Heard a short clip of Aerosmith's "Sweet Emotion."

That's it, those were my final pre-fatherhood thoughts. Odds and ends.

TWMHTHS #2: Excellent 3 course meal from church friend is a big hit!

Pete: I know, I know, you want the story of the birth and more pictures! Trust me, we'll get there. Just not yet. It is a lot of work to maintain any sense of normality and earn some down time. One of the very fine things Victoria and I enjoyed before Charlotte was born was a nice evening meal together. Having to do so much every day, most of the day, it is not yet possible to cook as we used to. We'll get there again, we hope. But right now is recovery time.

Home is really the best place to recover. Victoria and Charlotte came home on Saturday November 7th around 3pm. Kati, Victoria's sister, made the trek north Saturday morning with her husband Erich and 1 year old Arwen in tow. It was great to see them as they were our first visitors (see photo). Kati and Erich were a good help till Monday morning when they returned to Austin. Kati made a very kind Rosemary Chicken on noodles dish. It was definitely a 2B but because it smelled so nice after being in the hospital, it earns a 3B. Great timing can bump an easy dish up just like in baseball, a player could turn an easy double into a triple on account of an unsuspecting defense. It was a nice first meal home for recovery. Thanks Kati! FYI she probably usually cooks HRs. This was on short notice and limited supply to what we already had at home for the most part. That's right she hit a 3B with one arm tied behind her back! My wife often gets advice from her older sister on meal prep and for that I am a thankful beneficiary.

Our local church, Community Bible Chapel provides a meal ministry to those in recovery from hospitalizations. This evening, our dear friend Charlene Graham, from church brought a very fine 3 course meal. I must say, right off the bat, it was a HR. She was energized to meet the baby (photo below) and made it to the third floor of our apartment building doing quite well. She greeted us warmly and spent a moment checking out Charlotte.

Charlene has a grand daughter named Charlotte who is getting married this weekend. Congrats to her and her soon to be husband.

Gordon and Charlene have a place on the Big Thompson just outside of Estes Park, CO. (and yes she was there for the dreaded July 31, 1976 flood where one of her dear family members died) We have gone to visit them and been their guest back in June of 2007 and August of 2008. They are so very kind to have allowed us the opportunity to enjoy some rest in their neck of the woods. I often look forward to visiting with them in the evenings over dinner there in CO after a day of hiking. It is so restful and peaceful with them and the kind dinner today was just the right medicine to continue Victoria's recovery here at home. Thank you Gordon and Charlene!

I'm no salad man, but her salad was sweet... literally. It consisted of candied toasted almonds, mandarin oranges and a homemade salad dressing that I can only describe as the sweetest one I've ever had.

The homemade chicken pot pie casserole type of dish was the second course accompanied by dinner rolls. It had a very cool flaky crust on the bottom (not on top) and was topped off with french fried onions. It turned out wonderful after following her instructions to bake it for 30 minutes. I imagine you can solicit her recipe for the salad and casserole type of dish by emailing a request for it (gramit-at-aol.com). The third course was a bundt cake. I just finished off the previously blogged cake today and now I have a new one to start.

Victoria mimics My Big Fat Greek Wedding line when the soon to be in-laws bring the desert to the Greek household for the first family gathering of both families and proceeds to pronounce: BUNNNNNNDT! Glad to see my wife is recovering well... her sense of humor is returning!

I added an enjoyable beverage on the side with the bundt cake: Woodchuck Draft Cider: Granny Smith. Excellent choice to celebrate any November day.

Gordon and Charlene also included a card that ministered deeply to me when she cited Psa 103:17-18.

Thanks to Kati and Erich and Gordon and Charlene Graham for their kind help recovering from my wife's first birth!

While I wait....

I've been trying to fill up the days I've been waiting for baby to come. Today is now six days past my due date and it seems that each day I get a bit more anxious and ready for the birth. A little more irritable and antsy, having a difficult time sitting still for too long. Last week I didn't feel completely ready and now as we near our first week past due, the readiness is definitely setting in.

It seems that my "nesting instinct" is manifesting itself in the form of cooking and baking, much to my husband's enjoyment. He's been on the hunt for the perfect pizza and up to this point we've yet to find anything nearing perfect here in Dallas. So, he suggested I try to find a recipe for Giordino's (famous Chicago pizza joint) pizza crust and try my hand at making it at home. Yesterday I did just that and it turned out surprisingly good. It was a much thinner crust than the original, but had a flaky, almost biscuit-like quality. I made his 3/4 with ground beef and cheese and my 1/4 with fresh mushrooms, spinach, pineapple. It turned out to be a big hit. While the dough was rising I also made a homemade chocolate cake with his grandma's famous Italian icing - a special icing recipe I'll include in his next post. If this baby takes much longer, we'll have to open a bake shop to get rid of all the extra food I've been making.

I'm trying to continue to be patient as I wait for this little one to come into our lives. It's not the easiest thing I've done and definitely testing my faith more than I've been tested in some time now. Growing faith is a difficult thing. (Mat 8: 23-27)

The Way to a Man's Heart is through His Stomach #1: Homemade Pizza and Chocolate Cake

Pete: Being from the East Coast I'd call myself a Pizza Aficionado. I know what I like and what I don't like. I'm pretty simple in my toppings and since being married have tried more toppings. Trying to find a good homemade pizza recipe is tough. All the ones I've ever had just left me wanting more out of the experience. Many K's (Strike Outs).

Last night I finally had a homemade pizza I'm willing to score it at least as a 3B (Triple) if not a solid HR (Home Run). I'll have to let Victoria fill you on the rest of the recipe details, but having been up since 3am yesterday when I arrived home to a pizza straight out of the oven I was wondering how it might go. Would it be another K (Strike Out)? I was blown away when by the end of the pizza eating experience I had a heart swelling for my wife like a long lost coin, sheep, or son had been found (cf. Luke 15). It is definitely rare for me to be emotional from a meal. I was energized and felt amazingly refreshed as the need for rest was met by dinner instead of a pillow.

7/12ths of the pizza was topped with ground beef and 5/12ths of the pie was topped with what Victoria wanted (Victoria: spinach, mushrooms, pineapple). I slept the best in a long time after eating 6 slices with the ground beef topping. No joke. It was so good. I only hope to have multiple boys in their teen years chowing a whole pizza per boy in the household one day. They will be fed well.

The pizza crust was similar to the Giordano's Pizza crust I've had in Chicago. A bit on the stiff flaky side instead of the NY Style flimsy side. The sauce and cheese and ground beef toppings reminded me of my favorite pizza place in Baltimore, MD: Pizza John's. That means it is good.


Not to be out done by the pizza alone my wife baked a homemade chocolate cake and made my grandma's homemade Italian Icing. mmmm mmmm good. Another 3b or HR. I am very picky about my icing on cakes and this is the best cake icing along side the icing used on Carvel Ice Cream Cakes but a half step below the Kahlúa Mousse icing on my groom's ice cream cake (Grand Slam) from our wedding. Normally I avoid cakes like the plague because the icing is usually a cake killer. The Italian Icing, however, is a cake saver. I remember eating dried out chocolate cakes in my youth, but they had this icing and it was worth delving into. That's right, it's a cake saver. It is subtly sweet like a good vanilla bean ice cream (not like Blue Bell Ice Cream which is too sweet and not so subtle).

Paired with the icing was a homemade chocolate cake. It was not a store bought box it was made from real cocoa.

Overall dinner score was a 2 Run HR. Very surprised to come home to a 2 Run HR and I'm not even over rating this meal one iota.

Victoria: If you're interested in the pizza crust recipe, someone found a pretty good imitation of the Giordano's recipe. The one I used is the first post listed on that link.
For the icing, here's the recipe:
1 C Milk and 5 Tbls flour - wisk together in a small sauce pan continually over medium-low heat until it becomes thick and pasty. Set aside to cool to room temperature.
Cream together 1 C sugar, 1 Stick butter, and 1 tsp vanilla with beater. Add the cooled off milk mixture to the butter mixture and whip until fluffy. Result: Perfect vanilla icing!


Pete: Dishes... thought you might like to know I do the dishes and the homemade pizza and chocolate cake with Italian icing made only one dishwasher load. So, men, don't be afraid of this 2 Run HR meal.

The Way to a Man's Heart is through His Stomach (Intro)

Pete: Opening the first in a new series of random posts titled "The Way to a Man's Heart is through His Stomach" deserves some explanation. I've often heard my mom quote this line in the context of women winning over the hearts of men. There is definitely some merit to it. The following posts in this series will be in regards to dishes Victoria has hit a Home Run on in our kitchen, or some other notable chef's work at the restaurants we visit.

Before Victoria and I were engaged I believe I only tasted two meals of hers. Spring Rolls on a date and Homemade Chicken and Noodles Soup with Dumplings when I was sick. I knew not in the slightest the greatness of her talent as a chef. She does an amazing job of cooking fine meals for us and others who we've had over. Her cooking has been a factor in binding my heart to hers. I am so grateful for her kind acts of service in this regard. She is so faithful too. It is always a joy to see her do something creative each evening and watch her enjoy the process of planning and executing the product of her efforts with enthusiasm.

Smiths enjoy a good meal. One of the wisest men ever to live considered life and in the midst of some sobering instruction about workaholism (cf. Eccl 2:18-23) he wrote:

There is nothing better for people than to eat and drink, and to find enjoyment in their work. I also perceived that this ability to find enjoyment comes from God. For no one can eat and drink or experience joy apart from him. For to the one who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge, and joy, but to the sinner, he gives the task of amassing wealth – only to give it to the one who pleases God. This task of the wicked is futile – like chasing the wind! (Eccl 2:24-26; NET)

Perhaps "The Way to a Man's Heart is through His Stomach" should be read in this context too. It is a gift from God in the midst of life that can seem utterly empty at times. I'm so very thankful to the Lord each and every night I pray at the dinner table. God is most satisfied in us when we are most satisfied in him, not merely in the gift he's given.

May the following entries in the series "The Way to a Man's Heart is through His Stomach" be gifts to you too.

Our preliminary food rating rating system will be as follows:

Grand Slam: Not to be confused with the Denny's menu option, this is reserved for the best item(s) we've ever eaten. This is an exclusive club of dishes. Much better than a Home Run (HR) it cannot be topped. Everything was in the right place at the right time. The bases were loaded and everyone scores on one swing of the bat. Home Plate sees the most action ever in one play and its like there's a party in your mouth and everyone is invited!

HR (Home Run): As in baseball a Home Run will be reserved for dishes of great merit. There are also 2 Run HRs and 3 Run HRs where the dishes did better than the regular HR but not in the exclusive range of the Grand Slam.

3B (Triple): Pretty darned good eating! Definitely a good place to score from.

2B (Double): Also in scoring position but more work is needing to be done before reaching Home Plate.

1B (Single): These dishes are like solid hits. Sometimes they just beat out the throw to first base, but it is far from scoring still.

BB (Walk/Base on Balls): These dishes get a free pass to first base for some reason or another. Maybe it fouled off too many pitches and the pitcher just got tired of throwing any type of criticism at it and couldn't strike it out. Or it just gets walked intentionally for a free base.

K (Strike Out): This is the most embarrassing thing in baseball. Especially if you strike out looking. It is better to strike out swinging than to look at a called third strike and not do anything about it. This is reserved for huge disappointments and is therefore a warning to all to avoid at all costs lest you too be embarrassed.

Double Play: This dish is worse than a K (Strike Out) because it makes two outs not just one.

Triple Play: If you've eaten dirt this dish is worse than that. It is probably poisonous too. It kills a whole inning and therefore any chance of scoring is eliminated in one swing. It probably makes you wish you had not even been born. Yeah it's bad. Unbelievably bad.

October 24th Ministry Group Picnic

Late afternoon/early evening we had our Acts 2:42 Ministry Group Picnic at Bob Woodruff Park in Plano, TX. Tossed a Frisbee, saw the sun set, and made peace among the sand throwers.

The sand volleyball park where the assaults occurred.

Two of the three blokes I threw a Frisbee with. Also two of the poker buds of Monday nights. Lenny (to the left) has played in the Ultimate Frisbee World Championship in Hawaii and been donned on the cover of a prominent Ultimate Frisbee magazine fully stretched out in a dive for a Frisbee in flight. Check out any of his sermons over at Bible.org as well. Jachin (to the right) is just being silly.

Caught Stump, a former Dallas Police Officer in an intriguing pose. He's kind of tall.

A favored children's spot. It actually played second fiddle to the sand volley ball court. Don't ask me why. I think kids like to use their imagination more in building sand castles than playing on a jungle gym. This one looks too safe for my tastes too. They just don't make 'em like they used to.

Cliff returning from the "lake" exploration. "The fountain is totally unnatural" he uttered. "Lewis and Clark would have been so disappointed." Despite the meager accolades the consensus has us returning to Bob Woodruff Park and retiring the use of Arbor Hills Nature Preserve.

Ladies enjoying each other's company.

Due Date

Well, today marks "the date" the calendars say I'm due. It's now 7:40pm and nearing the day's end and no signs that baby wants to make its grand entrance today. And, I'm really okay with it. I feel more patient about this than I have about most things in life and I take it for the blessing it is. Ask me again this time next week if baby still hasn't come and it may be a different story, but for now I'm happy to wait. I must say though that I am getting more excited and feeling more ready for the day very soon that we get to meet our little one. Part of me feels like it will never happen, but then I realize that it is the inevitable and will indeed happen very soon.

We were at the grocery store tonight, Peter and I, and it was the second time he made me cry at Kroger. Yes, I will explain....The first time was one day when he surprised me and met me there after work to help me grocery shop and told me the results of his allergy test earlier that day. As it turned out he was allergic to everything under the sun, including dogs. I knew we'd never be able to have cats because of how allergic he is to them, but I was always banking on the fact that one day in the future we'd be able to have a dog. I adore animals and really couldn't imagine my life without them. It turned out he tested positive for an allergy to dogs. He told me in the Kroger parking lot and I just started bawling right there. I bet people around us were wondering what on earth he had said to make his wife cry like that, and would have never guessed it was, "Honey, I'm so sorry, but I'm allergic to dogs too." It turns out it's not as bad as his cat or mold or dust allergies, and that if we were to keep the house real clean he'd be fine with a dog someday, but at that point I didn't know this. So, today, as I was waiting for the deli lady to finish my lunch meat order and Peter was coming back from getting the carrots and celery, he held in his hand a miniature birthday cake....for our baby. It was the sweetest, most loving gesture, and it immediately put tears in my eyes, as it is doing again at this very moment that I write about it. We're going to have a baby, very soon. Somehow that little birthday cake made it more real to me than it has felt up to this point.

I am so grateful for my husband, who helps with laundry, grocery shopping, dishes, late night freak out I could be in labor moments, gives me countless foot rubs, back rubs, now takes off and helps put on my socks and shoes, and still thinks to love me and the baby in such a sweet way as picking out a little birthday cake for the day that will come very soon. Soon we will be three.