Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Three Years Old!!

Dear Charlotte,
I know every parent at this stage says it too, but I can't believe you're already three. You are growing up into this beautiful little lady right before my eyes. Everything is growing on you - your legs are getting longer, your smile is getting bigger, and your vocabulary is expanding by the day. It is very rare these days that I have a difficult time trying to figure out what you're saying. You used to get frustrated with me when I'd repeatedly ask you, "what?", but I explained to you that I really want to know what you're saying and that it's important to me to understand you, so now you're much more patient with me and you'll repeat yourself to me more slowly and clearly. You've always been one to understand so much better with a little explanation.


Right now you're in your room "napping". I can hear you talking and singing to your "friends" - your Thomas the Train, Lightening McQueen, and Puppy soft toys in your bed with you. You're singing a song now that I'm guessing you're making up as you go along. You just came out of your room a few minutes ago to tell me you had to go potty and to tell me you love me. Some days, Charlotte, you just melt my heart into a puddle. I picked you up from your class at Bible study this morning, and usually when you see me at the door, you come running to me full speed with your arms open wide and a huge smile one your face, giving me a great big collision hug. Today though, Cy was the first one you saw, and you came running full speed to where he was sitting in the stroller and gave him such a big sweet hug. It warmed my heart so much!

You've been playing with Cy a lot more lately and enjoying his friendship more and more. You two will chase one another down the hallway and you're even starting to share your trains with him. A couple days ago when we were going to the dentist office, I told you that you'd need to share your truck with Cy when we got to the office. Before we even pulled into the parking lot, I looked back and saw you giving Cy the truck. The same truck you were playing with all morning and had become so attached.You did it without  me even reminding you. I told you how proud I was of you, and how big it makes the Lord smile when you share and act lovingly toward your brother.



It was late September when you told me you wanted Jesus to live in your heart forever. A couple days before, we had let you climb into bed with us in the morning after you had gone potty. You climbed in and started chatting with us, and all on your own accord, began to tell us about how much God loves us and that Jesus died for us so we could live. I was just in shock. We had shared these things with you many times, but you had never repeated it to us before. So, Daddy picked up and started sharing more of the Gospel with you and telling you more and more about His great love for you. The next afternoon, after Cy had gone down for his nap, you were sitting on my lap at the table, coloring your Thomas the Train coloring book. I was reading an excerpt from a marriage counseling book we were using to counsel a couple from our church and got to the part that talks about the importance of marrying someone with the same Christian beliefs. In this section it shared a man's testimony of how he trusted his life to Jesus. You stopped me toward the end and told me, "Mommy, I love God and I want him to forgive my sins. I want Jesus to live in my heart forever." I could barely believe what I heard, and tears just started streaming down my face. I  never thought my prayers would be answered so soon! I asked you if you wanted to pray for that to happen. You said yes and prayed a brief prayer with me, and then said, "Mommy, Thomas is blue." It was such a special moment and one I will treasure forever. Since that time I've seen the Lord working on your heart, as little as you are. I see you more sensitive about matters of the heart and more quickly willing to apologize and want to do the right thing. I've also seen how the enemy strives to take hold of that which is no longer his, as there were also a few weeks of pretty severe disobedience. But, lately you've really turned a corner and I see such a sweetness and sensitivity swelling in your heart, I just can't deny that the Lord has settled there.


You are a ball full of energy too and you LOVE to run. We walk to the store sometimes and there's long stretches of grass almost the whole way. You get out of the stroller and will run full speed the entire way, there and back. It's got to be about a mile and a half one way. You love it when I chase you and even enjoy being ticked now - something you really didn't like for some time. You can recognize almost all your letters and on a good day can count to 20 unassisted. You'll even tease sometimes and will quickly tell us, "I was only joking". You love meeting new friends at the park and will quickly and easily play with other kids of all ages. You tend to enjoy playing with those a bit older than you, but really just love any opportunity to be social. You LOVE your Lightening McQueen stories, cars, clothes, bike, and movies, and although you've always enjoyed Thomas, I believe he's now coming in as a close second to your favorite. Cy has picked up your love for both, so you're having to learn a bit faster the fine art of sharing all your favorites.


I have to say, you're my little tomboy. You'll pick a Thomas or Lightening shirt over anything pink, frilly, or girly, faster than Lightening could make it around the racetrack. I have you wear more girly clothes on Sunday for church, but we're not half way home before you ask me, "Mommy, can I put on my shorts and Thomas shirt when we get home?" You do let me put your hair in a pony tail when it's extra windy outside, but that's about your limit. I don't think a bow has come close to your hair since you were around 18-months old. I used to fight it but just recently I've begin to embrace it. You're so active and fun and sweet and it's just so entirely you. You don't have a care what anyone else thinks and you are very sure of the things you like. It's this part of your personality that I know will really strengthen your faith and your belief in the Lord as you grow and mature.

Just thinking about you makes me smile. You are such a joy and delight in our lives. You're funny and sweet and so thoughtful. Just the other day I was having a hard time and begun to cry. You climbed onto the couch in the other room grab a tissue and bring it to me. You're very sensitive to others feelings and I pray the Lord will use this quality in your life in ways that will bring many blessings to others. I love you so much, Charlotte. I pray as we both grow up together, that the Lord will continue to bring us closer to Him and to one another. I pray I will always be a shoulder you can cry on and always have an ear to listen. I pray I will never fail to point you to the One true solution in your life and that the way your Dad and I raise you will cause you to never question His love for you. I pray that your Dad and I will always be a safe place for you and even though I know we'll fail countless times, that through it all, Christ will shine bright enough through us that you'll see Him far brighter than any of our failures. I pray He will always be the most important part of your life.

I love you Sweetheart. My sweet girl. My little love.

Mommy

Friday, November 30, 2012

Cy - One and a Half Laps Around the Sun

Dear Cy,
The first thing that comes into my mind when I think of you is your smile. Your bright blue eyes and your wonderfully round baby cheeks and that grin that stretches wide across your face. You are such a fun little boy and most of the time really just want to play, with whoever is game. Most of the time your sister is in range, but unfortunately she is rarely game. I've had to explain to her often that you're a boy and you just really love to play rough, and that you try real hard to be gentle, but often it's really hard to do. And you are all boy, too. You love just about any positive attention you can get and if we work at it even a little, making you laugh can usually get you to do most anything. It's often tough to tell when you're sick because even then you try to be in a good mood.

A few things you love to do as of recently: terrorizing your sister (well, that's been happening since you were mobile, but it's still a favorite of yours); chasing her around the house as she's pushing the popper (you'll even bring her the popper and beg her to play with you); reading all the colors, animals, and food board books; reading truck books; playing with trucks, cars and trains; taking baths; getting "cook" (cookies); playing with all the pots and pans in the kitchen; trying on shoes; and playing in the dirt at the park or virtually anywhere you can find dirt. Oh and playing in the dryer.


It seems like you're growing at a rate faster than it seems possible in nature right now. Every day I see a new part of who you are and the little person you're becoming. You're very strong willed and definitely one to take initiative. You'll take the coloring books out of the bag, get out the crayons, and start coloring all on your own before I've even noticed what you've gotten into. If you want to do something, you just do it. But, surprisingly, you do a great job sharing your toys when you play. If Charlotte comes to play with you, you'll gladly let her jump in and play along, not caring if she's taken one of the trains you've been playing with or building on the block tower you've been working on. You just love it when she plays with you and any attention she gives you. I pray every day that you two will grow up to be good friends with one another and that soon she'll enjoy being with you as much as you enjoy being with her. She's been starting to play with you more often and you couldn't be more thrilled. You still go straight for her hair if she's doing something you don't like, but it is happening less often than in the past, and you're quick to give hugs and kisses as an apology.


Some of my favorite times with you are cuddles before naps and when you climb right into my lap with a book in a very determined way. I love it when you wave at just about any stranger you see at the grocery store, and how excited you are when you're eating your favorite foods (swaying back and forth in your chair with a big smile on your face). I love seeing you play in the bathtub and figure out new ways the water can pour from one cup to another or splash around your body. I love seeing you try to say new things every day and so bold in your attempts to pronounce new words. I love that you have a very certain opinion about what shoes you want to wear each day and pajamas at night. I love how excited you get when you hear the skype phone ring and you know you get to see your grandparents on the computer. I love your sweet kisses to your Dad when he leaves for work and how you always want to waver goodbye to him as he's leaving down the walk. I love how you love to have Dad put you to bed at night and that he gets to have that special time with you. I LOVE your laugh and how contagious it is. I love to see you and your Dad roughhousing at the end of each day when he gets home from work and how you just soak up every moment of it.  I love going into your bedroom at the end of each day, after you've fallen asleep, and for a sweet tender moment, watching your little chest rise and fall as you drift deeper into sleep.


Cy, I just love you so very much. It is such an indescribable blessing having you in our lives. You add so much joy, laughter, and delight to our lives. There are also many challenges and tough times, but it is in those times the Lord is teaching me to be a better mother and hopefully teaching you more about Him. I pray at the end of the day, there is some moment you will keep in your heart each day that reminds you how deep and high and wide is the love of Christ. I pray each of those moments will be stored up as in a treasure chest in your heart, so that one day you will open it and won't be able to help but allow the love of Christ to flow over you and seep deep into your heart. I pray you will welcome Him with open arms and follow Him all the days of your life. I pray every day that I might do my job well and teach you more and more about his love for you. I pray I won't let life and this world get in the way of that one most important task.

I thank the Lord for you every day, Cy.

I love you,
Mommy

Monday, July 30, 2012

Toddler Slumber Party


Last night was the first night since Cy was a little bitty one that we put them both in the same room. They talked and played until around 8:30-9pm (went down at 7:30pm) until they finally fell asleep. It was hard to scold them for not sleeping because it was so darned cute that they were enjoying one another so much. It's rare they have that much fun together, so I don't want to discourage them when they're doing so well together. But, they're paying for it sorely this morning - or rather, I'm paying for it. I've been teaching Charlotte to quietly wake me up if she has to go potty in the middle of the night or early in the morning so she learns not to go in her diaper at night, so we can train her off the night time diapers. She's been doing pretty good and she'll come in early, around 6ish and say she has to go potty. Sometimes she's wet from earlier in the night but most often she's still dry. So, I take her, and if it's already about time to get up anyway, I let her come into bed and snuggle a bit. Well, this morning she came in on her own accord at around 5:20am and just wanted to snuggle. I told her that it didn't work that way, that she was only to come out of bed if she had to potty and then she was to go right back to bed. She ended up going back to bed without a fuss (a promise of marshmallows after breakfast make for great bribes). Since Cy is sleeping in the crib right at the head of her bed and I didn't want him waking up too. Well, about two minutes later she pads back into our room saying she needs to go potty. I take her, she goes, we go back to her room. Cy's still sleeping - success. Two minutes later, pads back into her room. She needs her hat. (She always sleeps with her blue baseball hat). She can't find her hat. I go back in, help her find her hat, tell her to go back to sleep. I go back to bed and very soon after I hear them both up talking and playing. It's 5:45am. Needless to say, Cy is already down for an early morning nap and she's in her room throwing a fit because she's "not tired". Oh yes, yes she is. What a morning. I know in time the novelty will wear off and they'll get used to sleeping together without keeping one another up to all hours, but for now, what a morning.

Friday, June 8, 2012

Cy Turns One

Dear Cy,
I'm a couple weeks late in writing your letter because I kept waiting for a time when I wouldn't be so tired and I could focus a little better on the task at hand. Then I figured that if I wait for such an occasion, you'll probably be in college by the time it gets written. So, I settled for you and your sister both being asleep for nap time and the best case scenario of six hours of uninterrupted sleep last night. We'll take what we can get on this end.

I'm sitting here staring at the screen trying to think of how I can possibly sum up this past year in one letter. There's just so much to who you are. How can I contain it? To be honest, I say the same about you at times. You are a mischievous one for certain. Just thinking about that little glimmer in your eye makes me smile. Because it's part total recklessness and part heart-melting warmth. Sometimes when I rock you before nap time and bed time, and hold you on your side so we're looking at one another, I am just spellbound at what a marvelous miracle you are. Every time I just want to bottle that moment and hold it in my pocket to revist whenever I need a little glint of sunshine in my day. You are our little sweetness. Even when you're sick, nobody would even know if they didn't take your temperature. You may be a little fussy, but even your little fussy is vastly less than most babies on a good day.


Although I'm not so sure your sister would brag quite as much about your good nature. Your good nature has the strong desire to constantly invade Charlotte's space. On any given day, if anyone were to wait even five minutes, they'd invariably find you chasing after Charlotte with a big smile on your face and her running from you with a look of terror, shouting, "Cy NO!!". You LOVE your sister and want to be in everything on everything and touching everything she's presentl playing with. Or, alteratively, on HER. Currently, you two are separated in weight by about a half a pound, give or take, in your favor. So, when you try to pull up on her to practice your new walking skills, you consequently pull her down. Unfortunatey, I can't seem to convince her of the charming nature of this attribute. Maybe it's because more than half the time, you try to catch your balance by holding onto her hair and she ends up on the floor and you end up with a fist full of it in your hand, ready to charge her again. I'm reaching here, but maybe that's it.

You two do have good times together though and moments of great sweetness. The other day in the grocery store, you two were sitting together in the basket. You were wanting to show love to your sister by going for the ever-popular hair grab and she was about to lose her patience. She yelled and I repremanded you. After a brief moment of frustration, you seemed to collect yourself and then very lovingly rested your head on her shoulder. Charlotte reached over and patted your cheek sweetly and said, "it's okay Cy." Moments like those make me smile. There are also the times when I'm in the kitchen cooking and I hear it quiet in the house. Hmmmm. Ok, the knives are all here. The bleach is in the cabinet. The flour is in its bin.The bathroom door is closed. I realize all the major players are stored away, so I take the chance and let the quiet continue. A couple minutes later, I peek around the corner into your and Charlotte's room and see you two playing together. Your play consists of unloading every last piece of clothing from your clothing bins and relocating them to the dirty clothes hamper, the shoe in, Carlotte's bed, or under the crib. But at this moment I really don't care that I will invariably have to fold, stack, and replace these items for the tenth time today, because....you two are playing...together...quietly. This is a mother's happy place. Cy, daily, you are a very wonderful part of my happy place.


The birthday cake experience

 I know you hear the word "no" more than probably any other word that is uttered from my mouth on a daily basis, but I need you to know it is for your best. I know you really think the trash can is a great pace for the remote controls and that the potty is like your personal little water park and you can't understand why I would possibly take you away from your own private heaven. But, believe me, it's for your best. I know you think it's the funnest thing on earth to watch your sister slowly go bald one fistful of hair at a time and that rice crispies on the carpet really do add some much needed texture to the design scheme of our apartment, but it's best to leave Charlotte's hair alone and the rice crispies on the table. Believe me, it's for your best. I know you think I'm keeping you from the best fun possible when I take you down from the bookcase or out of the bathtub or out from under the bed or out of the ashes in the fireplace or put you down for bed. But, it's for your best. It's for your best that I tell you "no" and I know you don't understand it now. Hopefully one day you'll have a little boy of your own and you'll understand in a way I couldn't possibly explain to you now. If  were to give it my best shot, I'd tell you I say no to you becasue God says no to me, and it's the best thing he could ever do for me. God's "no" has kept me from more dangerous situations and bad decisions in my life than I could count. As you grow, Cy, if you're able to slowly trust our "no", you will be able to trust God's "no" so much more easily. And that would be the best gift I could ever give you.


Post-birthday cake experience.

You're walking now and showing off your skills more and more every day. The best part of it is seeing this excited look of pride on your face as you put one foot in front of the other and charge toward my open arms. You are still a bit tentative with it all though. At home, where you're at ease, you will walk everywhere, but when we go someplace new, it takes a while for you to gain the confidence to use your new skill. We went to your Aunt Kati's last weekend and for the two days we were there, you got upset even when I tried to put you up on your feet. Then, as soon as we got home, I set you down and you walked straight down the hallway into your bedroom. You little rascal!


I often hold you close and nuzzle your neck and whisper to you softly, "Don't ever grow up, okay? Don't ever grow up." You are just the sweetest little boy and no matter how big you get, I know there will be this part of me that will always see you as my little baby boy. You get into everything and you terrorize your sister for the larger part of the day and you are like a magnet to all that is dangerous and electrical, but I still adore you more than you'll ever know. You will always be my little man, my first little boy. I love you so very much and I know it may embarrass you as you get older, but I don't think I'll ever be able to stop holding you close.

Love,
Your Mommy

Saturday, May 19, 2012

Dear Charlotte - Thirty months

Dear Charlotte,                                                                                        
(written 5/3/2012)
In a couple days you will be two and a half. When I look at you I see this little girl now. You're so grown up already. You dress yourself, go potty on your own, feed yourself, play with your friends, climb into your car seat by yourself and now want to buckle yourself in. And yet, you're still my baby girl, and still very much a baby. I have to fight the urge to treat you older than you are, because so often you act so much older. From very early on, if we just told you what to do, you'd have such a tough time accepting it; but if we explained it to you, you understood and obeyed willingly. I have to remember though that you're still very young and I pray often I don't burden you with responsibilities and knowledge that surpasses your age of understanding.
 

Sometimes I feel an ache so deep in my heart that I feel it will burst wide open with all the love I have for you, Charlotte. I so badly want the very best for you in all things. More than anything, I long for you to know our Lord and Savior and to know the deep and lasting peace of welcoming him into your heart. I pray that on your behalf every day. I see your sweet and sensitive nature and your desire to please us, and I pray that when the time comes, you ask him into your heart because it fills a longing like nothing else on this earth ever could, but not because you think it will please us. Oh yes, we will be pleased beyond recognition, more than you could ever know, but we want your faith to be yours, for you to own it and keep it deep deep inside where nothing could possibly penetrate it. We pray your faith will be so big that it will put ours to shame and you will share it proudly and openly with all who care to listen. I pray one day you will know the great joy of sharing that wonderful truth with your own children.

It was last week that I experienced one of the most memorable parenting moments. You and I have a game we play. When you're in the middle of something - whether it's playing with your toys in the bath, reading your books, or helping me in the kitchen - I'll call our your name and distract you from what you're doing so that you look up at me. When your eyes catch mine, I'll tell you, "I love you." It was a few months ago when I was playing this game with you when you were taking a bath. I called your name a few times and then when you finally looked up at me, you were the one to answer, "I love you." It was so very sweet, but part of me knew you only knew it as a game. Sure, I believe you understood there was an affection in it, but it was still just a game. Well, last week, when I was tucking you into bed, after the songs and the talks about the day and the cuddles, I looked at you in your eyes and told you, "I love you". You smiled sweetly, kept my gaze, and responded, "I love you too." I get tears in my eyes recounting the story, just as I did the moment it happened. You saw how happy I was, which made you smile every bigger. That day was one of my very best days.

One of the sweetest characteristics of yours is your sensitivity toward others. You can tell whenever I'm even the slightest bit upset. You'll come up to me, gently pat my arm and ask me, "You okay Mommy?" You ask the same thing to anyone you see get hurt, and even to Cy when he cries after being disciplined. To which I promptly reply, "Yes, Charlotte, he is FINE." I pray the Lord will use your sweet and sensitive nature to bless others in ways you never thought possible.

You are very active and would be outside at the park all day every day if we were able. You run and jump more than any other two year old I know. You slide down the slide, get to the end, stand up and jump off with all your might. You don't mind tumbling on the ground when you fall, but just get right up and brush off the dirt. I've had to learn to let you do your thing and climb and jump and take chances on your own. For your age, you've surprised me with your good judgment regarding these things and if you really aren't able to accomplish a task, you will ask for help and make good decisions. I do happen to never be more than a second away during these times though; but you'll never know it.

You also make friends very easily when we're at the park and we're usually not there more than five minutes before you've found a playmate to run around with. You love trains and bicycles and balls and get so excited when you have the chance to play with any of them. I guess that's the reason why you often play more often with other little boys your age than girls. I think we only have one baby doll in your toy box and I'm not sure you've played with it once. You LOVE Thomas the Tank Engine and know all the Thomas characters. A friend of ours babysat you the other day and when I came back to pick you up, she said we should really think about getting you some girlie undies. I told her that I've tried and we actually have a whole drawer full of Hello Kitty underwear, but you'll only wear the Thomas the Train undies. The only time you'll wear the girlie ones are when the Thomas undies are all dirty or if you've had an accident (very rare these days) and you're not allowed to wear Thomas until you're dry for a few days in a row. It is only then that you reluctantly wear the "other" undies. These are the little things I just love about you.

We have a fun game we play these days called "tickle time". When the time comes for your afternoon nap, I'll tell you that it's nap time and we need to get ready for sleep. That's when you tell me that it's not nap time, but rather, "tickle time". I then ask you, "What time is it? Nap time?", and you say, "Nooooo, it's tickle time!" Then I proceed to toss you on the bed and tickle you till you laugh so hard you can barely make a noise. We do this a few times and you just love it. The hard part is convincing you that you now need to sleep and tickle time is over. You don't normally enjoy being tickled, but you really love this game. I think it's because it's on your terms. You're pretty big about having things on your terms. You often need to be prepared of all the steps ahead and have a difficult time with quick changes. 


Charlotte, you are such a fun little girl and such a delight in our lives. Sometimes I look at you and can't believe my eyes at what a big girl you're becoming. At night, after you've gone to sleep, I'll quietly come into your room, pull your covers up over you and just gaze at your sweet little face, asking the Lord to protect you and grow you into a woman after his own heart. I love you so much Charlotte. I pray I will do my best to raise you the way the Lord has called me to do so and that by His grace you would remember the good and forget everything else. I pray I would always be a safe place for you to come to share all the joys and challenges of life. I pray that even when things get hard, you will know much I love you and how very very special you are to me.

I love you Sweet Pea,
Mommy

Monday, April 2, 2012

What Charlotte Never Did

There are a few things I've learned about little boys in the past ten months. Most of which is that they behave drastically different than little girls. Here are just a few examples.

Eating vacuum attachment parts.
 
I believe this one is self-explanatory. 


 
This was one of Charlotte's favorite things, playing with newspaper, although the thing she never did was EAT the newspaper, along with every book I try to read him or toy I try to play with him.

Monday, March 19, 2012

March 2012

Charlotte with her new love, Pooh Bear. Her Grandma Taylor got her a Pooh video and now she just adores her little Pooh and jumps around the house most of the day like Tigger.
Charlotte associates most colors with Thomas the Train characters. So, on this day she was wearing her "Toby" shirt, pants and boots.

I can't quite remember at what age Charlotte mastered this little tower, but it seems like I just turn around and Cy has learned something new. I showed him how to do this once and on the second try he was putting it together all by himself.

A little self-portrait fun.

I turned around just a couple minutes and turned back to find Charlotte had climbed into the highchair with Cy. "Look Mommy! I did it all by myself!". From the looks of things, Cy wasn't quite so amused.

Daddy attack! In all fairness, they're "helping" rub Daddy's back.

Charlotte on her little "Percy" motorcycle at church.

Toy dump day at the Smith house.

Saving some for later. My sweet little blue eyes.

Barb came to visit us for a long weekend and watched the kiddos overnight so Pete and I could enjoy an anniversary evening together in Fort Worth. Praise the Lord for wonderful mothers-in-law!! The kids just adored their time with her and we really enjoyed our chance to catch up and spend some time with her as well.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Christmas in Texas

A little late, I know, but better than never. Here are a few shots of Christmas with  my family this year in Austin. We spent the day at my mom's place in the hill country a bit west of Austin. Kati, Erich and Arwen, along with Erich's parents joined us as well. My grandma joined us for dinner as well, so it was fun for the kids to get to spend some time with their great-grandmother too.

Christmas Day at my mom's house.

My brother in law brought his gun and clay pigeons and Cy got to see some good ol' Texas shooting.

Me and my sister, Kati, with her daughter, Arwen.

The moms and their daughters.


Charlotte and her Christmas present from Erich's mom, Lucia.

Our young Jedi knight. Erich's sweet father held Cy all day and Cy had no problems with it at all.