How do you pick 'em?

Disclaimer: This came the day after my wonderful husband taught our daughter which finger was her "nose picker". These pictures were taken with no prompting from me.

The Things You Forget

I don't think it's true that you ever forget the pain of childbirth. Even though this past experience was a million times better than my first (will hopefully get my birth story written here soon), I will still forever remember the absolute, I-don't-know-if-I can-survive-this, pit of hell, kind of pain that it was. But, even with the kind of pain natural childbirth brings, it still only lasts a day or so (give or take - for me it was a mere six hours, for the less fortunate, much, much longer), and that length of time gives one the perspective that, "well, I can do just about anything for a day, right?" Not the case for the three months that follow. Somehow, that pain is forgotten, and I believe it is forgotten because it's God's way of encouraging us to have more children, because I have to tell you, if I remembered the intimate details of living day in and day out on a mere 3-5 hours of sleep, split up into 1.5 hour increments, mind you, I am not sure I would do it a second time. Somehow I looked back at our first few months with Charlotte and it seems much more manageable in my mind than I know it was in reality. I really need to call my friend, Emily, to whom I phoned countless times those first few months with Charlotte in complete meltdown mode, and ask her to remind me exactly how many times I called her in that state each week, or possibly each day some weeks.

I know it was hard then, but you really do forget how very hard it was. I remember talking to moms who had just had their fourth or fifth child and they spoke to me about these first few months like this was their first rodeo, and it was their fourth or fifth. They had completely forgotten what it was like. How does that happen, I wondered? Now I find myself in that same place. I was just thinking to myself today trying to remember how I worked out Charlotte's daily schedule so I could think about how to start getting Cy into a routine, and I really don't have a clue how it all worked out. I have no memory of it. I thought I wouldn't be like those "other moms" who forgot it all because Charlotte and Cy are a mere 18 months apart, and who forgets stuff like that in less than two years? Uh, me, that's who.

I also thought Charlotte must have been sleeping through the night by now (Cy is a month old tomorrow, mind you), because how on earth could I have survived two more months of this? No. She wasn't. And somehow I survived. How exactly, I really have no idea. I forgot it all. So, this is the only reason we keep having babies, because of the things we forget.

Our Expanding Clan

Our first family self portrait.

              
                      

Mama and Cy - First Impressions

Answered Prayers: Smith baby #2 (with picture)

Thanks to the many family and friends for the prayer support for Victoria, baby #2, Charlotte, and I. It was a completely different labor than the last one. It went really well. Victoria was a real trooper at the end when it finally was more substantive in the pain department. Needless to say, it was definitely a huge answer to Victoria's and your prayers and hopes for this labor and delivery.

Cy Ebenezer Silver Smith (yeah 2 middle names) was born at 1:57pm 5/22/11 weighing in at 8lbs and 8oz and was 20 1/4 inches long. Cy and mom are doing well.

Hope you enjoy the pic. I am off to sleep for a few hours.

Overdue - Oh, the joy!

My due date was Sunday. This past Sunday. Yes, for those who are counting, that was four days ago. For a week now we've had days here and there where we thought maybe...just maybe...this could be it.....then, once again everything returns to a standstill. You see, Charlotte was 11 days late, so in some ways this is familiar ground. Although, both Pete and I thought this baby might come early. Maybe it was wishful thinking or maybe we thought since I've just about run out of every possible maternity top option in my closet at this point, this baby for sure is big enough and would most definitely be ready to make his/her appearance a little early. But, here I am....still pregnant.

Yes, it is frustrating. Yes, I do wish I could hold this little one in my arms right now rather than in my belly. Yes, there are moments when I honestly believe I will remain pregnant forever. But, I do have to say that through it all the Lord has given me an overwhelming peace about it all. This being our second child, the pregnancy is so entirely different than the first. With Charlotte, all I could focus on was every moment of her growing and changing and developing inside of me and the anticipation of finally meeting her face to face. But, with this one, my days are so preoccupied with caring for Charlotte that often times I start to forget I'm even pregnant. Crazy thought considering I have to carefully navigate my way through most doorways so I don't get stuck, but the feeling is still there at times. Because of this, it has taken much longer for me to "bond" with this baby than it did with Charlotte when she was in the womb. One of my biggest fears was that that bonding would never take place; that the baby would even be born without any excitement or joyful anticipation like I experienced the first time. I had to work through these feelings with the Lord and over the past few weeks and He has given me such peace and renewed excitement for this little one. If this baby were born even two weeks early, my heart would still not have been in the right place, in the place where I longed for it to be when going into labor. Labor and delivery is hard enough when you have that excitement rising up inside and joyful anticipation at meeting your little one, but a million times harder to endure, I'm sure, when those feelings aren't present. So, yes, it is challenging waiting for the impending birth, especially when you see that due date come and go and continue to fade over the horizon. But, through this time of waiting, I'm learning to wait the way the Lord calls us to wait, and to remember the joy that comes when we are obedient to Him and His perfect timing for our lives. I'm reminded of one of my favorite verses in the Bible, Psalm 130:5-6,

 ⁵ I wait for the LORD, my whole being waits,
   and in his word I put my hope.
⁶ I wait for the Lord
   more than watchmen wait for the morning,
   more than watchmen wait for the morning.

So, I will continue to wait with that same anticipation that's present when we put all our hope in the Lord, with the expectation of his glory being revealed. 

I'm so excited to meet this little one. Now present are tears of joyful anticipation and much excitement at the thought of holding this little one in my arms at last. I will continue to wait for the Lord, more than watchmen wait for the morning.

Eight more weeks - REALLY?

This has pretty much been the state of affairs lately. The head is cut off because I'm not quite sure I'm smiling in this picture. I think I have one every-day maternity shirt that still covers the entire belly. This is obviously not one of them, even though I thought it was one of my longer ones at the start of this pregnancy. My belly is measuring about two and a half weeks larger than my current week, but nothing the doctor is concerned about. It's just a change for me since with Charlotte I was always measuring about three weeks smaller than my current week. Maybe this one will actually come on time!

It's amazing to me how much more quickly this pregnancy has gone by. For the longest time there, I kept bumping into things (tables when sitting down for dinner, walls when turning corners, Peter, when trading places in the bathroom while brushing our teeth) because I didn't think my belly was big enough already to have become my own personal obstacle. That's how fast time has flown this time around. I don't even think I had a second trimester. But, with all that said, it's amazing to me how the Lord has still used each moment to prepare me for this next stage of our lives. He's shown me such growth and maturity in Charlotte these past couple months, which has greatly eased my mind about having a newborn and an 18-month old at the same time. He's given me great encouragement regarding my many fears of how on earth I'll manage now keeping two children alive, let alone being there to teach, lead, and love them by his grace. He's also given me the support and compassion of an understanding husband who does everything he can to show me daily how much he loves me. Not to mention his role as founder and president of the Victoria Maintenance Program, with daily hip and back rubs before bed. I don't know how my back would survive this pregnancy without him! There were definitely many freak-out moments at the start of this pregnancy with sobbing cries of "how am I going to do this?!?", but God's amazing grace has turned those moments into waves of peace, trusting he's always pulled me through, and he's not about to stop now. I am so grateful to be serving such a remarkable God! James 1:2-4 has been on my heart lately, and a great encouragement to me during this time.

I decided to leave you with a smiling top-half!