Sunday, August 16, 2015

Matthew Turns TWO! (July 21)

Dear Matthew,
You turned two last month. TWO! Even with your little sister on the way, I would look at you and still see my little baby, whose thighs I loved to squeeze, and asleep in your crib with your footie pajamas. Last week when we brought Skylar home, you were no longer my baby. Some how in one day's time your hands got huge and your thighs lost all their chub. You became a big boy over night and my little baby was nowhere to be found. I feel like being your mom puts me in a constant place of mourning the loss of last stage and looking excitedly toward the one that lies right ahead. There's no denying it, you are becoming a big boy. You run without tripping, you communicate your needs (more on that later), you share your toys and play with others, you make funny jokes - the most recent of which is when you proudly brought in your little lego man whose little lego head was replaced with a lego toilet bowl. Lego toilet man. You were laughing so hard and your creation and I was cracking up along with you, proud of your creativity. That's what you boys have made me into, a mom who is proud of her boys lewd humor because however lewd it was, it sure was creative.


You are my little goof ball of the bunch. You love to play games and make jokes, anything to make someone laugh or get to laughing yourself. You will play hide and seek for hours, always telling me exactly where you want me to hide. Haven't quite caught on the the suspense part of the game, but it's how you enjoy playing, so I indulge you. You will rise the the occasion to play at any moment, and we can often turn you out of a sour mood just by making a face or chasing you down the hall. Although, when it comes time to stop, you do become a bit put out. You've taken to expressing yourself very clearly with your actions. You will stomp your one foot rather hard and give a look of sheer stubborn determination. But, when you get the call to time out, you usually go rather willingly. When it comes time to apologize, you will come right over and give your "sorry hug" and then proceed to do what we asked of you.


Speaking of communication, you are definitely the latest of your siblings to talk. I'm not sure if it's because you had fluid in your ears for so long the first year of your life, or if it's just your particular developmental process, but you only have about five words you say - Mama, Dada, hot, hat, ice, and dirty (pointing to your diaper when it needs to be changed). We're going to have an assessment done this next week to make sure there's nothing else hindering your speech, but in the meantime, you still get your point across quite well. Sometimes I think you communicate better than your siblings just through the few words you use, your grunts, points, and facial expressions. I do wish I could hear your voice though and look forward to when it starts to present itself. I know it holds a great deal of your personality, just bursting to come forward.


It has been fun to watch you starting to play more and more with Cy and Charlotte. You're learning to share your toys and that every tower they build or fort they create is not made especially for you to knock over. All three of you are sleeping in the same room now and I can tell you like the company. Maybe a little too much from the sounds of shrieks and laughter that come from your room at a little past six in the morning. But I will definitely take that over yelling and crying any day. You always want to be a part of their play and as you get older I can tell you're learning more about how to play with them rather than at them. It's fun to watch you three together.


Probably the quickest to give hugs and say your sorry for any wrongdoing, I could tell from the beginning you've had a real sensitive side. If ever I'm sad or having a hard day, you will notice and come to my side with a hug or a snuggle. It's even amazing to me that from the day we brought home Skylar, you have not wanted to leave her side. At even such a young age, she is not a stranger to you, but it's like you know without a doubt she is your sister and it is your duty to protect her. I can't wait to see how you two grow together. I pray you two will be close and that this bond I see forming will grow even closer.


When we had you, I thought you would be our last. I didn't know our little surprise would come along two years later. Because of this, I did my best to soak in every moment with you. Every late night feeding, every song before bedtime, every moment your head rested contently on my shoulder, every laugh, every new step, every joke you would make, every sweet blankie and thumb-sucking snuggle. I am so glad I thought you were my last because not only did you teach me to soak in every moment with you, but also reminded me to do the same with Charlotte and Cy. It has been a wonderful last two years with the three of you and I look forward with joyful anticipation at what comes for the four of you in the many years ahead. 


You are such a joy and delight in our lives. Your laughter is contagious and your sweet smile lights up the room. You have such a huge personality and I love how it just washes over everyone around you. And I love your hair!! I can't do anything to tame that mane, but I just LOVE it! You are my sweet little guy, and I have so many prayers for you in the years that still lie ahead. I pray with all my heart that your sensitive sweet side would be pulled into the arms of Jesus at a very young age. I pray that big personality inside of you would just burst out with a love for your Savior and that love would spread onto everyone you touch. I pray you would be a great friend to your brother and sisters and that friendship would grow stronger every year. I pray all four of you would encourage one another in the Lord and be there for each other through the joys and sorrows, pointing one another more toward Christ through every difficult circumstance you face. I pray you would learn to sit in one another's pain with each other, sharing His love just in your presence with them. No words needed. I pray you would be a good friend to others and always find the one who is left out, ignored, or pushed aside, and offer a word of encouragement or kindness to them. I pray when people see you and get to know you, they would see the love of Christ so deeply inside of you with such compassion and love for others, that they would be drawn to Him with an undeniable pull. I pray you would see in the hard times how He is molding and shaping you more and more to His image and what a wonderful and perfect thing that is. I love you so deeply that at times it hurts, and those are the moments when I need to remember ultimately you are His, only given to me for a time to teach you how deep and how wide and how high is the love of Christ. He has entrusted you to me, and I pray with all my heart that I make good on that trust. I love you, Mister. My sweet sweet boy. 

Mama

Cy Turns Four (May 22)

Dear Cy,
I know, I know, this is August and your birthday was May 22, but for the past few months I was really just trying to keep you all alive and having any free time to write (uninterrupted) was pretty much nonexistent. We brought home your little sister, Skylar, a week and two days ago, and this morning your dad took you, Charlotte, and Matthew to church and gave me some time alone to rest. So, now, three months later, I finally have a moment to write to you. Please forgive your crazy mama.

First off, I want to say how amazed I am every day at how BIG you're getting! You are turning into this little boy and have left the toddler station for good. I see you walking down the hall sometimes and I can picture the stages of life you will walk through to your teenage years and in becoming a man. My heart is so huge for you, Cy, and as much as I'm excited to see you growing so fast, I also am saddened by the loss of everything that was baby in you.



You have changed and grown so much this past year and not just in size. Your personality has just exploded and we've gotten to see so many changes in your heart as well. It used to take quite a bit of prompting to say you were sorry or to show compassion toward others in a personal way, and now I notice you are often the first to say you are sorry and to make sure the other person is okay. You still love hugs and cuddles and are by far my best hugger. I could just hug you all day long when you give me one of your big wrap around hugs. You're also learning to control your temper more and often use your words before I even prompt you, in order to tell me how you're feeling about something. Dinner time is also much more enjoyable with you, as we've seen huge growth in your willingness to try new things and also to eat vegetables!! A once almost impossible feat! You now brag to us about how you're the first one to eat all the veggies on your plate. Many nights you're the one to ask if you can pray for the meal which is such a joy to watch...."Thank you God for the food, thank you for the earth, thank you for our family, thank you for ..sorry for our sins, help Matthew's boo boo....Amen." Many nights, if not every night, you are the first to thank me for dinner - something I'm sure your dad taught you by his wonderful example.


You started preschool this past year at the elementary school Monday through Thursday 8-11am. Other than a handful of days when you would have rather stayed home with me, you really enjoyed it. It was on those days when part of me wondered if I should have waited a year, but then I saw how much you were learning and how much you enjoyed making new friends, and I realized it was probably a good choice. You and your sister spend so much time together at home, which is often such a great thing, but sometimes you two need some time apart in order to enjoy one another more. School was a good opportunity for both of you to do this. You went in the morning, came home for lunch with the family, and then Charlotte went in the afternoon. So you both had a break from one another for a time and you both had some more one on one time with me.


Speaking of you and Charlotte, I have to say it was actually pretty tough to find many pictures of you alone because so often you two are playing together. As you two get older, you really do enjoy spending time together. Don't get me wrong, there are many fights I have to break up, but on the whole I know you would rather be together than play alone.


You've also started including Matthew in your play more as well. Often it's hard for you to share your toys and I know he hasn't learned all the "rules" of play yet, but I have noticed you being more patient with him and more willing to help him when he's having a tough time. You're the one who is quick to forgive and hug back when he has to apologize.


It's fun to watch the three of you play together, which has happened more and more often these days. Sometimes it will be fifteen or twenty minutes and I haven't heard any screaming or crying or arguing. I begin to wonder if everything is okay. I go outside to assess the situation and you all are sharing and playing together as if you are the best of friends. Don't get me wrong, there's plenty of screaming and dirt throwing and balls thrown at heads, but on the whole, it's pretty peaceful.





Ever since we told you in December and you watched my belly grow in size every month, you have been excited at the idea of having another sibling. You wanted to know how the baby grows, what it eats, and if it could bite me. You really wanted a baby brother (the gender we always keep a surprise until the end) but toward the end you started to admit more and more that a little sister is really what you'd prefer. From the moment you met her at the hospital and every moment since, you have been so gentle and sweet toward Skylar. Your big hands stroke her small soft head like it were your most precious possession. You always want to know where she is, almost as often as Matthew does. I know you're going to be a great big brother, always looking out for her, and showing her the ropes.


Cy, it is a joy being your mama and watching you grow and change so much every day. I see a light in your eyes and a softness in your heart that gives me great encouragement for all that lies ahead for you. I continue to pray your heart would fully open one day to the love of Christ and you would let Him in completely without reservations. I know when that day comes you will be forever changed with no turning back. That's just the kind of boy you are - all in or nothing at all. I pray your love for your siblings would continue to grow and that the friendship you four hold for one another would withstand the test of time and circumstance. I look at your picture now and it just makes me smile, for all you are and all I know you will become. You are my bud, my sweet boy, my Cy. I love you with all my heart.

Mama