Cy at Six Months

Dear Cy,
It's easy to tell that life is going by much faster the second time around, seeing as how I'm writing your six-month letter two days before you are seven months old. These last seven months have been some of the best and hardest of my life. I was told I would have my hands full having two children 18-months apart. But, I also knew I wouldn't know any different and just take it as it comes. It's true I don't know any different, but I also do indeed have my hands full. Although, I didn't truly feel that way until you started crawling, shortly after you turned five months old. Until then, I thought I was doing really well, and the parental sanctification process was going quite smoothly. Then, you became mobile. I remember thinking to myself about how great of a parent I had been in disciplining Charlotte and how well she minded. We never had to childproof anything and if we scolded her once for going toward the wires on the floor, she never ventured that way again. Then you came along and as soon as you got mobile, I received a fast-track education in parenting boys. I now have no guilty feelings over not adopting a workout regimen, since I feel like I am constantly chasing you down and pulling you away from the wires, Christmas tree, DVDs, toilet brush, cabinets, shoes, shoes, shoes, your sister's hair or clothes or blankie or hair or hair or hair. You are all boy and I absolutely love you. You are a constant workout but I really don't think I'd have it any other way. You've also done an excellent job in keeping me humble as to the true caliber of my parenting skills. And, we will be child proofing.

From the moment I met you, Cy, I was absolutely in love. The first few days after we brought you home from the hospital, I remember loving to kiss the soft spot right above your temple. Then, as you got older and much bigger than I was ever used to with your sister, I grew especially fond of those soft and so very kissable cheeks. I feel like my lips were made for those cheeks. You've got the baby chub and I love love love it. I prayed for a cuddly baby this time around, since your sister wasn't particularly fond of being cuddled early on, and the Lord really did answer that prayer. After your naps, I pick you up and hold you to me and you just let your arms fall limp by their sides and nuzzle your head right into my neck as I wrap you in up in my arms. Early on you would let me rock you to sleep for naps and bedtime. Now, you've become a bit more independent and resist a bit more, but every now and again, I put you down just at the right time and you relax completely into my arms as I sing you to sleep. I've been trying to let you go down before you fall asleep so you can get used to putting yourself to sleep, but at those moments, I can't help but sing an extra chorus and hold you just a bit longer as I feel your warm breath soft on my neck.

You have just adored your big sister from the day you were born. Whenever she is in your line of sight, you just light up. She's two years old right now, so her ideas of play are a bit different than yours at this point, but I'm convinced that as you grow older, she won't be able to help enjoying your sweet and easy going nature. You are for sure one of the most flexible babies I've met. I've set a pretty solid schedule for you in terms of eating and sleeping, but if we ever veer off that schedule, you have no problem working through it, and most often with a smile on your face. Even when you're sick with a cold, you still try so hard to be happy. You loathe having your nose wiped, but if that's the worst of it, I think we're going to do just fine.

Another thing I prayed about before you were born was that you'd be a great eater, and the Lord definitely answered that prayer. You were great from the very start with nursing and now that we're feeding you solids as well, you've taken just about anything we've offered. I'm definitely glad I have the habit of making much more food than we ever eat on any one night because I know it won't be long before it will be just the right amount. This like so much is so new to me, as you are so very different than your big sister, in personality and stature. She was so petite, barely ate a thing, slept through the night very early on, and never really got into much of anything in the house. Then comes this big baby boy with the cutest chub I've ever seen, who eats like it's going out of style, still wakes up in the middle of the night to eat (if he has it his way), and will get into anything and everything. You both, I am very thankful to say, have delightful personalities, love to laugh, and are sweet as can be, and I am so happy that you are alike in that way.

There were so very many prayers that were answered when you came into our lives. Through you and your sister, the Lord is teaching me to be more like Christ. I pray that each day I would learn to be a more willing participant, so that through me, you might come to know the greatness of calling Him Lord of your life. I pray you and your sister would grow in wisdom and stature in the Lord above all else. I pray he would cause you two to become great friends with one another and do great things for His Kingdom. I pray you might be a shoulder to one another and an encouragement in times of hardship and hurt. I pray we might raise you in a way that you would know above all else that you have been loved with the love of Christ and that you can rest every night knowing you are in His care. I pray we would teach you to turn to his truth in every decision you make and seek Him out first in all your questioning as you journey through life. We love you Cy, more than you'll ever know. You are such a light and joy in our lives and we are so very blessed the Lord has entrusted us with your care for these very short and precious years.

Love,
Mommy

My Baby Turned Two

Dear Charlotte,
This past Saturday you turned two. How is it that just yesterday we brought you home from the hospital and now you're already using full sentences and dressing yourself? Sometimes I feel like it's just not fair that life passes by so fast and I don't get nearly the chance I'd like to enjoy and fully savor each and every moment I have with you. You are such a fun girl to be around and your personality just continues to blossom with each new day. You're talking more and more and now using full sentences at times. We try to review your numbers and letters most days and I was so proud when I caught you counting to ten the other day when you didn't think I was looking. You have a few special "loves" these days, which include Spongebob Squarepants, the Gingerbread Man, and baseball. Your love of Spongebob came when we found a little figurine in a cereal box. From then on, you slept with Spongebob and wanted to take him with you whenever we ran an errand in the car. Your love of the Gingerbread Man started with your gingerbread man pajamas that you ask to wear most nights. Then, you recently discovered the Gingerbread Man storybook, which you have me read over and over and over again on most days. Some mornings you get so distraught when we have to take off your gingerbread man pajamas to put on daytime clothes, and the only way you'll calm down is if after they're off, you can "hold it" - clutch the pajamas to your chest for most of the morning. As for baseball, I think your love for it grew from your love of hats. One day you discovered a baseball hat of Cy's that didn't fit him yet, and you claimed it as your own (which you would like to do of most of his things if you had your way). You wore that baseball hat almost every day, and from there discovered what a baseball bat was, and then your daddy introduced you to your first baseball game on television. Now if you have to go to bed when baseball is on TV, you give Mommy and Daddy kisses and then go give the TV a kiss too before you head off to bed. But, only if baseball is on.

Charlotte enjoying the gingerbread man cookie batter for her birthday cookies.

You do have a couple typical toddler habits. One is your fascination of boogies. The other is your desire to "do self" everything. The combination of the two happened a couple weeks ago. I was changing your diaper and saw you had a boogie in the corner of your nose. I went to pick it and you got rather agitated, calling out, "Do self! Do self!". I said, "You want to pick your boogie yourself?" You said, "yes, put back, do self!", and you had me put your boogie back into your nose so that you could then, very satisfyingly, pick it out yourself. You want to do most things yourself, and lots of times if we give help unsolicited, you make sure you "undo" whatever was done and do it yourself from the beginning of the task, unassisted. Even to the smallest thing, like a couple nights ago, when I was tucking you in, I lovingly brushed your hair out from your eyes, and you got a little frustrated and said, "do self!". You brushed your hair back over your eyes, then proceeded to brush your hair out of your eyes "self". I try to let you do as much as possible on your own, start to finish, but also try to encourage you that there are times when you will need help and you need to learn how to ask for it.

You've never been terribly free with your affections, but you have definitely become a bit more cuddly in the past few months. One of your first phrases was, "up please", so that we'd pick you up and show you all that was happening on our level. You still want up and often ask for hugs now. You love cuddles with your Daddy after your nap time when he's home on the weekends, but still request that I put you down for bed. We will pray and then I sing you your nightly request - "Jesus Loves Me". Often you then request me to say goodnight to all your animals on your bed too, which can be a bit time consuming, as there is Puppy, Puddles, Ducky, Sally, Sammie, Baby Doll, Teddy Bear, Dolly, Spongebob, and even Blankie. One day while you were playing on your own, I saw you say "night night" to all your animals, one by one, turn on the sound machine, and then walk out the door and close it behind you - just as I do for you each night.

Charlotte in her favorite gingerbread man pajamas.

Your world was a little shaken with the addition of your little brother, although over the past six months, you've slowly begun to warm to him. Whenever we're out in public and come up to someone new, the first thing you do is point to Cy and say, "This is Cy!", with all the smiles of a very proud big sister. Most nights you won't go to bed if I don't let you "kiss Cy" first; so, I lower you into his crib to give him a little kiss while he lay there sleeping. You two just started sleeping in the same room, and although I know at times you really can't stand him even touching you, I have a feeling it will be difficult for you the day you two no longer share a room. I often hear you calling out sweetly, "quiet Cy", if he wakes up at night or in the morning and starts crying. If I have to do something in another room and I hear Cy crying because he's been left alone, I ask you to go in and keep him company. You hurry off to your brother, lay right next to him and start chatting away. He in turn loses the tears and gets a big smile on his face. You definitely have a way of lighting him up - he really does adore you. You are also more and more willing to share as the months go by and are learning that we are a family who loves one another and shares our things with each other. I'm glad sharing has never been too difficult a task for you. You always wanted to share from a very young age, and will even share your last piece of desert without us asking. I know it's different with a little brother who has all of a sudden intruded upon your life, but you've been facing the task well and getting better every day. 

My hope and prayer as you grow older is that you would look back on this time in your life and know you were deeply loved. More importantly, that our love for you helped lead you to your Heavenly Father, who has a love for you that far surpasses any we could ever give you. I hope we're able to show you daily how very much He cares for you and that the purpose for all we do in your life and for your life is to give Him the glory. I pray that one day you will have a faith and knowledge of our Lord so great that it puts ours to shame. That one day we will be learning from you and you will be encouraging us to remember how very big He is. I love you so much Charlotte. More than you will ever know. But our Lord loves you far more. You are ultimately His and your Father and I have the great blessing of being entrusted with your care for the time you are here with us. You are my little love. My sweetheart. My sweet pea. I love you Charlotte. Happy Birthday.

Love,
Mommy

Cy's First and Charlotte's Second Halloween

Charlotte doesn't like getting "dressed up". Her grandma prepared a special "tea time" for her and her cousin, Christine, while we were in Baltimore, with all the typical girlie enjoyments, such as dress up clothes, jewelry, and tiaras. But, the only thing we could get Charlotte to wear was the necklace. So, I was a bit worried about Halloween and her lack of enthusiasm about dressing up. I decided to prepare her for a day or so in advance, letting her know that if she wore her kitty cat costume (the one she currently had her puppy wearing), that she would get cookies. She doesn't know what candy is, but she is acutely aware of the word cookie, so I thought I'd start there. We meet up with some other families and kids her age and go trick-or-treating around their neighborhood, and I knew she'd love it, but it wouldn't be nearly as much fun if she didn't wear her costume (nor would there be nearly as many "cookies"). So, that morning I was able to finagle her to get puppy out of the kitty cat costume and her into it, and we started talking about a night full of cookies. Cy, well, he's a different story. You could probably dunk him into a vat of glue and cover him with feathers and he'd still have a smile on his face, so I wasn't too worried about him. We ended up having a great night with all our friends, and Charlotte got to enjoy her first "cookie" (ie. Baby Ruth bar) after lunch today.

What? There's more to the costume?

Teddy Bear and Kitty Cat - I promise, she really was happier than she looks here.

The adoring brother and the indifferent sister. Man, that little guy loves his big sister!

My little animals.

Baltimore Bound

This past week, we were fortunate enough to travel to Baltimore to visit Pete's family for the week. Pete's middle brother, Andy, and his wife, Jessica, and their four kiddos just recently moved to New Jersey for his work, but they also made the trip down to Baltimore for the week to spend time with family. Pete's youngest brother, Steve, was there as well, as he currently lives in Baltimore. It was so great to see all the cousins play together for the first time since Charlotte has been able to really participate in the play. She was in heaven with all the "big kids" and they were just so wonderful with her too. Cy got to meet his new cousin, Sean, as well, who is six weeks younger. The grandparents soaked up the time with the grandchildren, and the parents had a wonderful time catching up with one another and even getting in a family game or two.

Cy and his cousin, Sean, get to meet for the first time.

Charlotte with her cousins, Ryan, and Josh.

Charlotte with Ryan, Josh, and Christine.

Charlotte and Christine licking the beaters for Charlotte's birthday cake.

Grandma Smith helping Charlotte cut out their hear sandwiches for "High Tea with Grandma".

Charlotte enjoying her first tea time with Grandma Smith and cousin Christine.

Charlotte loves Spongebob, or, Bob, as she casually refers to him. So, Jessica helped me make a Spongebob cake for her when we celebrated her birthday a week early in Baltimore.

Birthday celebration.

We also celebrated her Uncle Andy's belated birthday at the same time.

Who doesn't love chocolate cake?

Cousin Ryan and Cy bonding.

Cousins. Sweet sweet sweet.

Charlotte at the Park

Ok, so this one wasn't at the park, but I thought it was a pretty cute shot.

Charlotte and her new little friend she met at the park.

Four Month (and some change)

It really is true what people tell you, that it all goes so much faster the second time around. It's hard to imagine in just a couple weeks (Oct 22), Cy will be five months old. It seems like just yesterday we took that drive to the hospital to deliver him. He has really been such a joy for us and is such a laid back little guy. He's rolling over now, both ways, and loves having people near him. He lights up whenever he sees his big sister and although she's a bit indifferent, we can already tell he just adores her. It was a bit strange for me at first to have such a big baby. At four months, he weighed in at 16lb. 13oz. and 26 1/4 in. In comparison, Charlotte wasn't 16 pounds until after she was 15 months old. But, I love love love it! I could really snuggle him all day long, and he'd probably let me, if I didn't have a ton of other things to get done. Just look at those cheeks!!

He's Touching Me!

The Stealth Roller

Cy just started rolling from his back to his belly. He did it the first few times right when I turned my back, so this one I finally caught on camera. The first time, I had him on his back on the bath mat next to me while I was pouring his bath. I had my back to him and when I turned around, I found him on the tile next to the bathmat, on his belly. I put him back on his back on the mat again, then heard Charlotte, so went to the hallway for a second to check on her. I got back, and low and behold, on the tile on his belly again! Little stinker! I have to apologize for the shakiness of this video - whenever Charlotte sees the camera out, I've got to try to wrangle it away from her grasp.

Our Giggling Kiddos

 

 

Birth Story - Cy Ebenezer Silver Smith

It's amazing how much of a slacker one becomes when the second child comes into the picture. With Charlotte, I felt guilty for not getting out my birth story within the week after she was born. This time, it's now seven weeks two months later and I'm just now getting around to it. I guess slacker may not be the right term, maybe just twice as busy now caring for two little ones instead of just one.

Before Charlotte was born, I had decided I wanted to give birth naturally, without medication. I choose to have a midwife deliver her at a hospital and knew I was "allowed" to go up to two weeks past my due date without being induced. Therefore, my primary prayer request, other than the health of the baby and myself, was that I would go into labor naturally and not have to be induced. The Lord graciously answered that prayer, and although she was eleven days past her due date, she did come on her own without the need for induction, and I was able to have the natural childbirth experience I had hoped for. I was definitely very thankful for this answered prayer, but also realized through the experience that there were many other things I wanted to pray for when we found out we were expecting again. Based on my experience with Charlotte, here is a list of prayers (and reasons for them) I prayed for Cy's birth that were answered by the Lord. ALL of them were answered.

1. A peaceful labor. When I got to the hospital with Charlotte I was dilated to a six and my contractions were VERY intense and very long, without much break in between. It made the next five hours of unmedicated labor very challenging, to say the least.
2. A beautiful delivery. With Charlotte, I pushed for an hour and a half. Once she came out, I was so exhausted from pushing that I didn't get to fully experience the beauty of the moment. I was literally just trying to breathe and get back up on the bed, and they had to take her away right away to make sure she was breathing okay. Once I finally had her next to me, I was in a sort of daze.
3. I would get to have the baby put right on my belly after the birth and enjoy the moment. See above.
4. Normal BP following the delivery. After Charlotte was born, my blood pressure spiked like crazy and I couldn't even leave the delivery room to my recovery room for a couple hours until it went down to a reasonable number.
5. Get to the hospital on time and have child care all work out accordingly for Charlotte. Charlotte's labor was relatively quick, so we were concerned this next one would be even faster, and with the need to get Charlotte off to a sitter and get to the hospital in time (which was 30 minutes away), this was a concern.
6. The baby's hands would not be up by his/her head during delivery. Charlotte came out with one arm up by her head, which made pushing her out very difficult.
7. The baby would come out quickly. See #2 above.
8. I would experience a quick recovery. I could barely walk for two full days after Charlotte's delivery and stayed at the hospital the optimum time allowed.
9. I wouldn't be depressed after the birth. For about two weeks after Charlotte was born, I cried every night, feeling such intense sadness and sorrow I couldn't explain.
10. Nursing would go well and be an enjoyable experience. I loved nursing Charlotte, but she was always so tiny and ate so little that it was very difficult at the start and continued to be a love/hate relationship the entire 10 months I nursed. Cy doesn't have either of these problems.
11. We would get the help we need when we need it after the birth.
12. Cy wouldn't have colic, which we struggled through with Charlotte for the first three to four months of her life.
13. This baby would come in the daytime hours, like Charlotte did, and that I would get a good night's sleep the night before. A big prayer considering the many sleepless nights leading up to the birth.

Now with the story. I had been having contractions off and on for about two weeks leading up to Cy's birth. Pete and I were thinking that this baby might come early because at 38 weeks,  I was already measuring larger than I was with Charlotte a week after her due date. I'd get a few contractions during the middle of the night and then they would peter off to nothing by morning time. Finally, on Sunday, May 22, exactly a week after my due date, and after a good night's sleep, I had my first contraction at 6am. The next one came 20 minutes later, and the next was ten, then seven. By 8am, when we realized they weren't dying off, we decided to call our go-to person that would be helping us with Charlotte during the birth. Sandy got to our house shortly after 8am, even in time to get Charlotte to church with her that morning. (We found out later that Sandy's husband offered up a prayer request to our church body that morning during the Lord's Supper, asking them to pray for us, as we were probably in the middle of labor at that very moment.) As we got everything loaded up for the hospital, I continued to pause ever seven minutes or so to lean over and have another contraction, still breathing gently though each and feeling like they were very manageable at this point.

On our way to the hospital we stopped at Jack in the Box to get me a breakfast sandwich. I knew I wouldn't be eating a full meal for a while, so I'd better get some calories in for the long haul ahead. We got to the hospital about 8:30am, got checked in, and the contractions were still coming around seven minutes apart and still very manageable. The nurses were going to wait to call my midwife until they checked my cervix, to determine if it was worth her trip up there yet or not. I don't think they thought I was very far along, as I was still in very good spirits and the contractions were so well spaced. (See Charlotte's birth story for the VAST contrast.) The nurse checked me and I was already dilated to a six. I couldn't believe it and almost asked her to check again. With Charlotte's birth, I got to the hospital at a six and I could barely speak or even breathe for that matter. What a difference!!

Even though the contractions were coming at a good distance apart, they were still challenging when they did come. I was very grateful for my doula, Michelle, when she arrived around  9am to help me remember the best positions to sit or stand in during the contractions to make me more comfortable and help keep the baby moving in the right direction. It's amazing how you could have gone through this whole process before, but somehow in the middle of it all you forget all you ever learned the first time. My midwife, Aliza (operates under Dr. Lawrence Pierce), arrived shortly after Michelle got there and she also was amazed at how well the whole process was going. She had me, Pete, and Michelle take laps around the hallway to help keep the contractions moving along. They were still spaced around seven minutes apart, but each one was getting stronger and stronger. I would stop during the contraction and use the hallway railing for support as I squatted down during each one. I could slowly feel more and more pressure as the baby's head moved further down the birth canal.

We decided to take a bit of a break and check to see if I had dilated further, and then change things up by laboring in the birthing tub for a while. I started shaking a bit and Alisa suggested that I was probably going through transition. I said, "No way; it's probably just the adrenaline since I'm getting so excited."  I said this because when I went through transition with Charlotte's birth, I felt like I was going to puke and was seriously unsure about how I was going to make it to the end in one piece. This time I felt so relaxed, and although the contractions were strong when they came, they were very manageable and still spaced around seven minutes apart. I could almost take a little nap between each one. My midwife checked me and found me dilated to a 9! I couldn't believe it and neither could Pete. I had been going into transition and I really couldn't believe how peaceful this whole process was going. Aliza asked me if I wanted her to break my water and I told her no, as I was actually enjoying the process and didn't really care to speed it up to the very painful part quite yet. I also had prayed Charlotte would be born in her amniotic sac and since she wasn't, I still had the same prayer for this baby. I've always heard it was a very beautiful thing to witness.

I got into the tub and labored there for a while. By now it was around 1pm and I remember putting my head down on the side of the tub in between contractions and feeling like I could doze off. I was that relaxed. I still can hardly believe it as I recall it now. I told Aliza I was hot and she offered me some jello or a popsicle. I took her up on the popsicle and my husband couldn't believe what he was hearing. I normally HATE popsicles. You just say the word and I cringe. It's something about the crunching of that solid ice that gives me goose bumps just writing it now. But, that sounded really good to me at the time. So, I had my popsicle (cringe) and then decided to get out of the tub, cool off for a bit, and get back into the bed. I got out, went to the bathroom one more time, had a contraction while I was in there, and then went back to the bed and laid down on my side.

While on my side in the bed with one of my legs propped up in the stirrup, I experienced the hardest contraction I had felt all morning and it went on for what felt like five minutes or so. I remember praying, "Lord, just give me a little rest here, just a little break, so I know I can keep on going." I started getting very scared and told Pete so at one point. He asked what I was scared of, and I said, "The pain!!". I wasn't sure I could make it. Everything was so peaceful and manageable up to this point and now I felt like this massive wave of unbearable pain was washing over me. I felt myself retreating in my mind to a place far away from that hospital room. I think Aliza sensed my fear and withdrawal because it was at that moment she pulled my top leg over so that I was now on my back and told me in very certain terms that this was indeed happening and I would be pushing very soon. It's amazing the sensation of feeling like there's no way you can possibly do something and at the same time be doing that very thing. I asked her what position would be best - I was sitting at an incline on the bed at that point - and she said to do whatever feels best for me. I told her nothing feels good right now and to "Please, tell me what to do!", because I knew if she didn't tell me, I felt like I was going to lose it. I didn't know what "losing" it entailed, but I didn't want to find out either. She told me not to squat because I would probably risk a greater tear in that position, as the baby was already crowning. She wanted to be able to ease the baby out slowly and with squatting, gravity would push the baby too fast. So, I stayed in a upright-sitting position and she had me give small controlled pushes during a few contractions and hold told me to just breathe through a few without pushing. In just about ten minutes and less than five pushes, Aliza eased the baby out, still in the amniotic sac!! Pete told me later that he could see the baby's face turn as he made his was out, still under the encasement of the sack.

After the baby came out, the sac ruptured, and she put him straight onto my belly. I couldn't believe it was over. It was even more beautiful than I had prayed it would be. The nurses rubbed the baby down, the baby let out a huge "man cry", as Pete puts it, and Pete got to cut the cord. I asked if it was a boy or a girl and Pete looked, responding excitedly, "It's a boy!". That's when I responded, "Hello there, Cy Ebenezer Silver Smith", the name Pete had wanted to name a boy of his own since he was a young man in high school. I held Cy for some time, just checking one another out. After about ten minutes or so, I was quite curious how much this little guy weighed, so they took him off to do all his measurements. Cy weighed in at 8lbs 8 oz., two whole pounds larger than Charlotte was at birth. Two pounds more and about an hour and a half less of pushing! My midwife said the first literally paves the way for the second. Is that ever true. That along with a great big God who answers great big prayers!!

When they gave him back to me, he latched on right away and has been a master nurser ever since. I remember asking Michelle, my doula and friend, how you could possibly love the second child as much as you love the first. How could you possibly have even more love in your heart to share? She told me that when that second child is born, and you look in his/her face for the first time, you say, "that's how". When they put Cy on my chest and after he let out that great big cry of health, I looked over at Michelle and said, "that's how". That's how.

This was taken shortly after checking into the hospital, around 9am that Sunday morning.

 Me, eating a popsicle on the side of the birthing tub between contractions, already dilated at this point to a 9! I could hardly believe how relaxed I was just an hour before delivering Cy. (To let you know how much I hate popsicles on a normal day, I'm getting the willies right now just looking at this picture.)

 

Resting that evening with my little guy.

Proud Papa

Cy, now at two months old.

How do you pick 'em?

Disclaimer: This came the day after my wonderful husband taught our daughter which finger was her "nose picker". These pictures were taken with no prompting from me.

The Things You Forget

I don't think it's true that you ever forget the pain of childbirth. Even though this past experience was a million times better than my first (will hopefully get my birth story written here soon), I will still forever remember the absolute, I-don't-know-if-I can-survive-this, pit of hell, kind of pain that it was. But, even with the kind of pain natural childbirth brings, it still only lasts a day or so (give or take - for me it was a mere six hours, for the less fortunate, much, much longer), and that length of time gives one the perspective that, "well, I can do just about anything for a day, right?" Not the case for the three months that follow. Somehow, that pain is forgotten, and I believe it is forgotten because it's God's way of encouraging us to have more children, because I have to tell you, if I remembered the intimate details of living day in and day out on a mere 3-5 hours of sleep, split up into 1.5 hour increments, mind you, I am not sure I would do it a second time. Somehow I looked back at our first few months with Charlotte and it seems much more manageable in my mind than I know it was in reality. I really need to call my friend, Emily, to whom I phoned countless times those first few months with Charlotte in complete meltdown mode, and ask her to remind me exactly how many times I called her in that state each week, or possibly each day some weeks.

I know it was hard then, but you really do forget how very hard it was. I remember talking to moms who had just had their fourth or fifth child and they spoke to me about these first few months like this was their first rodeo, and it was their fourth or fifth. They had completely forgotten what it was like. How does that happen, I wondered? Now I find myself in that same place. I was just thinking to myself today trying to remember how I worked out Charlotte's daily schedule so I could think about how to start getting Cy into a routine, and I really don't have a clue how it all worked out. I have no memory of it. I thought I wouldn't be like those "other moms" who forgot it all because Charlotte and Cy are a mere 18 months apart, and who forgets stuff like that in less than two years? Uh, me, that's who.

I also thought Charlotte must have been sleeping through the night by now (Cy is a month old tomorrow, mind you), because how on earth could I have survived two more months of this? No. She wasn't. And somehow I survived. How exactly, I really have no idea. I forgot it all. So, this is the only reason we keep having babies, because of the things we forget.

Our Expanding Clan

Our first family self portrait.

              
                      

Mama and Cy - First Impressions

Answered Prayers: Smith baby #2 (with picture)

Thanks to the many family and friends for the prayer support for Victoria, baby #2, Charlotte, and I. It was a completely different labor than the last one. It went really well. Victoria was a real trooper at the end when it finally was more substantive in the pain department. Needless to say, it was definitely a huge answer to Victoria's and your prayers and hopes for this labor and delivery.

Cy Ebenezer Silver Smith (yeah 2 middle names) was born at 1:57pm 5/22/11 weighing in at 8lbs and 8oz and was 20 1/4 inches long. Cy and mom are doing well.

Hope you enjoy the pic. I am off to sleep for a few hours.

Overdue - Oh, the joy!

My due date was Sunday. This past Sunday. Yes, for those who are counting, that was four days ago. For a week now we've had days here and there where we thought maybe...just maybe...this could be it.....then, once again everything returns to a standstill. You see, Charlotte was 11 days late, so in some ways this is familiar ground. Although, both Pete and I thought this baby might come early. Maybe it was wishful thinking or maybe we thought since I've just about run out of every possible maternity top option in my closet at this point, this baby for sure is big enough and would most definitely be ready to make his/her appearance a little early. But, here I am....still pregnant.

Yes, it is frustrating. Yes, I do wish I could hold this little one in my arms right now rather than in my belly. Yes, there are moments when I honestly believe I will remain pregnant forever. But, I do have to say that through it all the Lord has given me an overwhelming peace about it all. This being our second child, the pregnancy is so entirely different than the first. With Charlotte, all I could focus on was every moment of her growing and changing and developing inside of me and the anticipation of finally meeting her face to face. But, with this one, my days are so preoccupied with caring for Charlotte that often times I start to forget I'm even pregnant. Crazy thought considering I have to carefully navigate my way through most doorways so I don't get stuck, but the feeling is still there at times. Because of this, it has taken much longer for me to "bond" with this baby than it did with Charlotte when she was in the womb. One of my biggest fears was that that bonding would never take place; that the baby would even be born without any excitement or joyful anticipation like I experienced the first time. I had to work through these feelings with the Lord and over the past few weeks and He has given me such peace and renewed excitement for this little one. If this baby were born even two weeks early, my heart would still not have been in the right place, in the place where I longed for it to be when going into labor. Labor and delivery is hard enough when you have that excitement rising up inside and joyful anticipation at meeting your little one, but a million times harder to endure, I'm sure, when those feelings aren't present. So, yes, it is challenging waiting for the impending birth, especially when you see that due date come and go and continue to fade over the horizon. But, through this time of waiting, I'm learning to wait the way the Lord calls us to wait, and to remember the joy that comes when we are obedient to Him and His perfect timing for our lives. I'm reminded of one of my favorite verses in the Bible, Psalm 130:5-6,

 ⁵ I wait for the LORD, my whole being waits,
   and in his word I put my hope.
⁶ I wait for the Lord
   more than watchmen wait for the morning,
   more than watchmen wait for the morning.

So, I will continue to wait with that same anticipation that's present when we put all our hope in the Lord, with the expectation of his glory being revealed. 

I'm so excited to meet this little one. Now present are tears of joyful anticipation and much excitement at the thought of holding this little one in my arms at last. I will continue to wait for the Lord, more than watchmen wait for the morning.

Eight more weeks - REALLY?

This has pretty much been the state of affairs lately. The head is cut off because I'm not quite sure I'm smiling in this picture. I think I have one every-day maternity shirt that still covers the entire belly. This is obviously not one of them, even though I thought it was one of my longer ones at the start of this pregnancy. My belly is measuring about two and a half weeks larger than my current week, but nothing the doctor is concerned about. It's just a change for me since with Charlotte I was always measuring about three weeks smaller than my current week. Maybe this one will actually come on time!

It's amazing to me how much more quickly this pregnancy has gone by. For the longest time there, I kept bumping into things (tables when sitting down for dinner, walls when turning corners, Peter, when trading places in the bathroom while brushing our teeth) because I didn't think my belly was big enough already to have become my own personal obstacle. That's how fast time has flown this time around. I don't even think I had a second trimester. But, with all that said, it's amazing to me how the Lord has still used each moment to prepare me for this next stage of our lives. He's shown me such growth and maturity in Charlotte these past couple months, which has greatly eased my mind about having a newborn and an 18-month old at the same time. He's given me great encouragement regarding my many fears of how on earth I'll manage now keeping two children alive, let alone being there to teach, lead, and love them by his grace. He's also given me the support and compassion of an understanding husband who does everything he can to show me daily how much he loves me. Not to mention his role as founder and president of the Victoria Maintenance Program, with daily hip and back rubs before bed. I don't know how my back would survive this pregnancy without him! There were definitely many freak-out moments at the start of this pregnancy with sobbing cries of "how am I going to do this?!?", but God's amazing grace has turned those moments into waves of peace, trusting he's always pulled me through, and he's not about to stop now. I am so grateful to be serving such a remarkable God! James 1:2-4 has been on my heart lately, and a great encouragement to me during this time.

I decided to leave you with a smiling top-half!

Our Little Love - 15 Months

It's hard to believe our little baby girl just turned 15 months old. Every day I see more of her babiness fading away and being replaced by a sweet little girl full of personality and spunk. There are so many new things she does every day and I've needed to record them for a while now, so I'll just go through a few off the top of my head now.

In the past three months she started walking. She took her first few steps around one year of age, just from one piece of furniture to the next, and most of the time I think without even realizing she was doing it. But, it was over Christmas break, when we were visiting Pete's family in Baltimore, that she really took off. She started walking from one room to the other without a second thought. A few weeks into January is when she started getting up on her own, unassisted from any furniture or nearby legs to pull up on, and after that happened I haven't been able to stop her. She wants to walk everywhere and will squirm out of my arms when I try to carry her. She loves walking up and down the stairs to our apartment, and uses the railing all on her own to help her up. It's a lot of fun to watch, and I have to admit it can be much easier on me at times when I have my arms full. She never seems to get tired either, which amazes me because she's got such little legs. She'll never stop to be picked up along the way because she's too tired. Come to think of it, I rarely see her too tired for much of anything.

I started teaching Charlotte simple sign language around six to eight months, and she uses it now quite regularly. Some of her signs include "more", "please", (often those two used in conjunction when wanting something sweet that either Peter or I have near by), "again" (used often when she wants me to pull her around the house in the laundry basket), "help" (usually when needing help taking lids off jars to explore what's inside), "all done", "milk", "eat", "dance", "hurt", "patient", and "wait" (the last two being the most important, but the last to understand, of course). She wants to communicate so badly lately that often she'll use a few signs at once to try to tell me something she doesn't have the word for. She talks quite a bit too. Most of it is baby babble, of course, but some of the words we can make out are "Mama", "Dada", "hat", "puppy", "dolly", she tries to say bath because she loves them so much and gets so excited when we tell her she gets to take one but it usually comes out "da!", "hi", "bye".

I mentioned that Charlotte loves baths. We'll tell her it's bath time and she runs down the hall way toward the bathroom, trying as best as she can to take off her shirt along the way. When we get her undressed, she's now understanding how to walk her dirty clothes back to her room and put them in her clothes hamper and to put her dirty diaper in the trash can before she gets into her bath. That's probably the best part of the day, seeing our naked little baby traipse back through the house to get to the bathroom after throwing away her dirty diaper. We'll give her lots of bubbles, which she likes to rub up and down her arms, and all her favorite bath toys. I think if we didn't cut her off at around twenty minutes, she'd stay in there all night long. We'll ask her if she's ready to get out, and she adamantly says "no!", turns her head away and gets herself very busy again playing in the bath. We'll drain out all the water and she's still sitting in the tub, playing with the toys, and making the most of the all-but-gone bubbles remaining in the tub.

Other than watching her naked little body run through the house before bath time, my other favorite part of the day is when her Daddy comes home from work. As soon as she hears his key turn in the lock, she gets this super excited look on her face, squeals, claps, and starts jumping up and down in my arms if I'm holding her. She LOVES her Daddy, and that fact right there just lights up my world. He adores her and it really shows in all the time and attention he gives to her. She knows Daddy's the one to go to for a good time of wrestling, tickling, flying through the air, or that extra bite of cookie. It's really great to see the two of them together and I'm so blessed to be married to a man who is such a fantastic father to his child.

With #2 on the way in a few short months, I try to get Charlotte ready for the change to her world. I know at 15 months, her understanding of this reality is very limited, but I still tell her daily how excited I am for her to be a big sister to her new little brother or sister. I tell her there's a baby in Mama's belly, and she'll lift up my shirt to "look" for it, then very shortly thereafter get distracted by my belly button. She loves to look at pictures of other babies. We have a few baby magazines on the shelf and she'll get them out and page through them for twenty minutes at a time some days, just looking at the baby pictures. She's also super social with other kids and always wants to be where they are, even if they're much bigger than her. I just know she's going to be a great big sister and will really enjoy having a little play mate to spend her days with.

Another really neat thing about Charlotte's personality is that she loves to share. Whatever toy she's playing with, she'll always bring it over to me and let me enjoy it as well. She has a favorite dolly and stuffed puppy she plays with most often, and she'll bring them to me and have me give them a kiss and cuddle and then she'll kiss and cuddle them in return. She also loves sharing her food. Just about every meal, she'll take a bite and then insist that you take the next bite. Then she'll look for her dolly and want to share the food with her as well, which I found is great if you're talking about sharing Cheerio's, but when it's spaghetti, it's a whole other story for Dolly. Dolly is presently in the washing machine with Shout sprayed on her face.

Meal time has become a fun time for us all and also a bit of a challenge at times. Charlotte has a true independent streak to her, which I'm sure is the same for most 15 month old children. She will eat about three fourths more food if you let her use a fork and/or spoon. She loves trying doing it all herself and I've had to force myself many times to really let go and allow her to get a little (or a lot) messy and just explore and enjoy herself. At times I think it's been more of a learning curve and growing time for me than it has for her. She's definitely taught me how to let go of many of my control tendencies. I thank the Lord for that!


I just really love our little girl. It amazes me how my heart can continue to grow each day and how amazed I can continue to be by another human being so young and so small. She is such a beautiful and delightful blessing in our lives and I am a better wife and woman because of her. I pray every day that the Lord would give me wisdom to know how to best raise her, how to best discipline her, and that I would be patient and long suffering with her in times of challenge. I continue that prayer two-fold for this next little bundle that will soon make his/her entrance into our lives. It is definitely the most challenging job I've ever had but the only one I could imagine for my life. I thank the Lord every day that I get to spend it the way I do, whether it ends in tears or laughter, I can't imagine doing anything else! I love you Charlotte, my sweet little love.

The Icepocalypse

I like to refer to the Dallas, TX "Ice Storm of 2011" as the ICEPOCALYPSE. Sounds more dramatic and sensational than even the TV crews can come up with. "It was thundericing the other night! The power was a flickerin', people was having accidents left and right, they almost cancelled the Superbowl, and we almost died or even worse!"

"In other news, Victoria Smith has razed ire for commandeering her nearly 15 month old daughter's pacifier. Mrs. Smith ordered the cease and desist from pacifier usage on account of cabin fever. 'There just was nothing else for me to do,' said the stranded at home mother. 'I'd like to see friends and get out of Dodge but it was just not worth it. Besides, the sliding glass door was frozen shut. So I had to find something to do. I looked around and there it was: my next "mission" was just staring at my face from my daughter's mouth. I just wanted to get a kiss from my daughter that didn't have a pacifier flavor to it anymore.'"

"There you have it folks. That's all for this news hour! From Dallas, TX I'm Pete Smith. Good Day!"

Christmas in Baltimore

As the saying goes, better late than never. I've finally gotten around to downloading our Christmas pictures from Baltimore. These are just a few shots from our Christmas celebration there and a few of the days surrounding it spent with friends and family.

 

The first year we were dating, Pete asked for a flannel shirt, but nothing "Texan" or "country". I got him a nice flannel shirt and also a very ugly cowboy/Texan joke-shirt as well. Well, this is the sixth shirt now that he has to add to his collection. Unfortunately this was the ugliest one I could find this year. I've set some high standards for myself over the years.