Dear Charlotte - Thirty months

Dear Charlotte,                                                                                        
(written 5/3/2012)

In a couple days you will be two and a half. When I look at you I see this little girl now. You're so grown up already. You dress yourself, go potty on your own, feed yourself, play with your friends, climb into your car seat by yourself and now want to buckle yourself in. And yet, you're still my baby girl, and still very much a baby. I have to fight the urge to treat you older than you are, because so often you act so much older. From very early on, if we just told you what to do, you'd have such a tough time accepting it; but if we explained it to you, you understood and obeyed willingly. I have to remember though that you're still very young and I pray often I don't burden you with responsibilities and knowledge that surpasses your age of understanding.
 

Sometimes I feel an ache so deep in my heart that I feel it will burst wide open with all the love I have for you, Charlotte. I so badly want the very best for you in all things. More than anything, I long for you to know our Lord and Savior and to know the deep and lasting peace of welcoming him into your heart. I pray that on your behalf every day. I see your sweet and sensitive nature and your desire to please us, and I pray that when the time comes, you ask him into your heart because it fills a longing like nothing else on this earth ever could, but not because you think it will please us. Oh yes, we will be pleased beyond recognition, more than you could ever know, but we want your faith to be yours, for you to own it and keep it deep deep inside where nothing could possibly penetrate it. We pray your faith will be so big that it will put ours to shame and you will share it proudly and openly with all who care to listen. I pray one day you will know the great joy of sharing that wonderful truth with your own children.

It was last week that I experienced one of the most memorable parenting moments. You and I have a game we play. When you're in the middle of something - whether it's playing with your toys in the bath, reading your books, or helping me in the kitchen - I'll call our your name and distract you from what you're doing so that you look up at me. When your eyes catch mine, I'll tell you, "I love you." It was a few months ago when I was playing this game with you when you were taking a bath. I called your name a few times and then when you finally looked up at me, you were the one to answer, "I love you." It was so very sweet, but part of me knew you only knew it as a game. Sure, I believe you understood there was an affection in it, but it was still just a game. Well, last week, when I was tucking you into bed, after the songs and the talks about the day and the cuddles, I looked at you in your eyes and told you, "I love you". You smiled sweetly, kept my gaze, and responded, "I love you too." I get tears in my eyes recounting the story, just as I did the moment it happened. You saw how happy I was, which made you smile every bigger. That day was one of my very best days.

One of the sweetest characteristics of yours is your sensitivity toward others. You can tell whenever I'm even the slightest bit upset. You'll come up to me, gently pat my arm and ask me, "You okay Mommy?" You ask the same thing to anyone you see get hurt, and even to Cy when he cries after being disciplined. To which I promptly reply, "Yes, Charlotte, he is FINE." I pray the Lord will use your sweet and sensitive nature to bless others in ways you never thought possible.

You are very active and would be outside at the park all day every day if we were able. You run and jump more than any other two year old I know. You slide down the slide, get to the end, stand up and jump off with all your might. You don't mind tumbling on the ground when you fall, but just get right up and brush off the dirt. I've had to learn to let you do your thing and climb and jump and take chances on your own. For your age, you've surprised me with your good judgment regarding these things and if you really aren't able to accomplish a task, you will ask for help and make good decisions. I do happen to never be more than a second away during these times though; but you'll never know it.

You also make friends very easily when we're at the park and we're usually not there more than five minutes before you've found a playmate to run around with. You love trains and bicycles and balls and get so excited when you have the chance to play with any of them. I guess that's the reason why you often play more often with other little boys your age than girls. I think we only have one baby doll in your toy box and I'm not sure you've played with it once. You LOVE Thomas the Tank Engine and know all the Thomas characters. A friend of ours babysat you the other day and when I came back to pick you up, she said we should really think about getting you some girlie undies. I told her that I've tried and we actually have a whole drawer full of Hello Kitty underwear, but you'll only wear the Thomas the Train undies. The only time you'll wear the girlie ones are when the Thomas undies are all dirty or if you've had an accident (very rare these days) and you're not allowed to wear Thomas until you're dry for a few days in a row. It is only then that you reluctantly wear the "other" undies. These are the little things I just love about you.

We have a fun game we play these days called "tickle time". When the time comes for your afternoon nap, I'll tell you that it's nap time and we need to get ready for sleep. That's when you tell me that it's not nap time, but rather, "tickle time". I then ask you, "What time is it? Nap time?", and you say, "Nooooo, it's tickle time!" Then I proceed to toss you on the bed and tickle you till you laugh so hard you can barely make a noise. We do this a few times and you just love it. The hard part is convincing you that you now need to sleep and tickle time is over. You don't normally enjoy being tickled, but you really love this game. I think it's because it's on your terms. You're pretty big about having things on your terms. You often need to be prepared of all the steps ahead and have a difficult time with quick changes. 

Charlotte, you are such a fun little girl and such a delight in our lives. Sometimes I look at you and can't believe my eyes at what a big girl you're becoming. At night, after you've gone to sleep, I'll quietly come into your room, pull your covers up over you and just gaze at your sweet little face, asking the Lord to protect you and grow you into a woman after his own heart. I love you so much Charlotte. I pray I will do my best to raise you the way the Lord has called me to do so and that by His grace you would remember the good and forget everything else. I pray I would always be a safe place for you to come to share all the joys and challenges of life. I pray that even when things get hard, you will know much I love you and how very very special you are to me.

I love you Sweet Pea,
Mommy

What Charlotte Never Did

There are a few things I've learned about little boys in the past ten months. Most of which is that they behave drastically different than little girls. Here are just a few examples.

Eating vacuum attachment parts.

 

I believe this one is self-explanatory. 

 

This was one of Charlotte's favorite things, playing with newspaper, although the thing she never did was EAT the newspaper, along with every book I try to read him or toy I try to play with him.

March 2012

Charlotte with her new love, Pooh Bear. Her Grandma Taylor got her a Pooh video and now she just adores her little Pooh and jumps around the house most of the day like Tigger.

Charlotte associates most colors with Thomas the Train characters. So, on this day she was wearing her "Toby" shirt, pants and boots.

I can't quite remember at what age Charlotte mastered this little tower, but it seems like I just turn around and Cy has learned something new. I showed him how to do this once and on the second try he was putting it together all by himself.

A little self-portrait fun.

I turned around just a couple minutes and turned back to find Charlotte had climbed into the highchair with Cy. "Look Mommy! I did it all by myself!". From the looks of things, Cy wasn't quite so amused.

Daddy attack! In all fairness, they're "helping" rub Daddy's back.

Charlotte on her little "Percy" motorcycle at church.

Toy dump day at the Smith house.

Saving some for later. My sweet little blue eyes.

Barb came to visit us for a long weekend and watched the kiddos overnight so Pete and I could enjoy an anniversary evening together in Fort Worth. Praise the Lord for wonderful mothers-in-law!! The kids just adored their time with her and we really enjoyed our chance to catch up and spend some time with her as well.

Christmas in Texas

A little late, I know, but better than never. Here are a few shots of Christmas with  my family this year in Austin. We spent the day at my mom's place in the hill country a bit west of Austin. Kati, Erich and Arwen, along with Erich's parents joined us as well. My grandma joined us for dinner as well, so it was fun for the kids to get to spend some time with their great-grandmother too.

Christmas Day at my mom's house.

My brother in law brought his gun and clay pigeons and Cy got to see some good ol' Texas shooting.

Me and my sister, Kati, with her daughter, Arwen.

The moms and their daughters.

Charlotte and her Christmas present from Erich's mom, Lucia.

Our young Jedi knight. Erich's sweet father held Cy all day and Cy had no problems with it at all.

Cy at Six Months

Dear Cy,
It's easy to tell that life is going by much faster the second time around, seeing as how I'm writing your six-month letter two days before you are seven months old. These last seven months have been some of the best and hardest of my life. I was told I would have my hands full having two children 18-months apart. But, I also knew I wouldn't know any different and just take it as it comes. It's true I don't know any different, but I also do indeed have my hands full. Although, I didn't truly feel that way until you started crawling, shortly after you turned five months old. Until then, I thought I was doing really well, and the parental sanctification process was going quite smoothly. Then, you became mobile. I remember thinking to myself about how great of a parent I had been in disciplining Charlotte and how well she minded. We never had to childproof anything and if we scolded her once for going toward the wires on the floor, she never ventured that way again. Then you came along and as soon as you got mobile, I received a fast-track education in parenting boys. I now have no guilty feelings over not adopting a workout regimen, since I feel like I am constantly chasing you down and pulling you away from the wires, Christmas tree, DVDs, toilet brush, cabinets, shoes, shoes, shoes, your sister's hair or clothes or blankie or hair or hair or hair. You are all boy and I absolutely love you. You are a constant workout but I really don't think I'd have it any other way. You've also done an excellent job in keeping me humble as to the true caliber of my parenting skills. And, we will be child proofing.

From the moment I met you, Cy, I was absolutely in love. The first few days after we brought you home from the hospital, I remember loving to kiss the soft spot right above your temple. Then, as you got older and much bigger than I was ever used to with your sister, I grew especially fond of those soft and so very kissable cheeks. I feel like my lips were made for those cheeks. You've got the baby chub and I love love love it. I prayed for a cuddly baby this time around, since your sister wasn't particularly fond of being cuddled early on, and the Lord really did answer that prayer. After your naps, I pick you up and hold you to me and you just let your arms fall limp by their sides and nuzzle your head right into my neck as I wrap you in up in my arms. Early on you would let me rock you to sleep for naps and bedtime. Now, you've become a bit more independent and resist a bit more, but every now and again, I put you down just at the right time and you relax completely into my arms as I sing you to sleep. I've been trying to let you go down before you fall asleep so you can get used to putting yourself to sleep, but at those moments, I can't help but sing an extra chorus and hold you just a bit longer as I feel your warm breath soft on my neck.

You have just adored your big sister from the day you were born. Whenever she is in your line of sight, you just light up. She's two years old right now, so her ideas of play are a bit different than yours at this point, but I'm convinced that as you grow older, she won't be able to help enjoying your sweet and easy going nature. You are for sure one of the most flexible babies I've met. I've set a pretty solid schedule for you in terms of eating and sleeping, but if we ever veer off that schedule, you have no problem working through it, and most often with a smile on your face. Even when you're sick with a cold, you still try so hard to be happy. You loathe having your nose wiped, but if that's the worst of it, I think we're going to do just fine.

Another thing I prayed about before you were born was that you'd be a great eater, and the Lord definitely answered that prayer. You were great from the very start with nursing and now that we're feeding you solids as well, you've taken just about anything we've offered. I'm definitely glad I have the habit of making much more food than we ever eat on any one night because I know it won't be long before it will be just the right amount. This like so much is so new to me, as you are so very different than your big sister, in personality and stature. She was so petite, barely ate a thing, slept through the night very early on, and never really got into much of anything in the house. Then comes this big baby boy with the cutest chub I've ever seen, who eats like it's going out of style, still wakes up in the middle of the night to eat (if he has it his way), and will get into anything and everything. You both, I am very thankful to say, have delightful personalities, love to laugh, and are sweet as can be, and I am so happy that you are alike in that way.

There were so very many prayers that were answered when you came into our lives. Through you and your sister, the Lord is teaching me to be more like Christ. I pray that each day I would learn to be a more willing participant, so that through me, you might come to know the greatness of calling Him Lord of your life. I pray you and your sister would grow in wisdom and stature in the Lord above all else. I pray he would cause you two to become great friends with one another and do great things for His Kingdom. I pray you might be a shoulder to one another and an encouragement in times of hardship and hurt. I pray we might raise you in a way that you would know above all else that you have been loved with the love of Christ and that you can rest every night knowing you are in His care. I pray we would teach you to turn to his truth in every decision you make and seek Him out first in all your questioning as you journey through life. We love you Cy, more than you'll ever know. You are such a light and joy in our lives and we are so very blessed the Lord has entrusted us with your care for these very short and precious years.

Love,
Mommy

My Baby Turned Two

Dear Charlotte,
This past Saturday you turned two. How is it that just yesterday we brought you home from the hospital and now you're already using full sentences and dressing yourself? Sometimes I feel like it's just not fair that life passes by so fast and I don't get nearly the chance I'd like to enjoy and fully savor each and every moment I have with you. You are such a fun girl to be around and your personality just continues to blossom with each new day. You're talking more and more and now using full sentences at times. We try to review your numbers and letters most days and I was so proud when I caught you counting to ten the other day when you didn't think I was looking. You have a few special "loves" these days, which include Spongebob Squarepants, the Gingerbread Man, and baseball. Your love of Spongebob came when we found a little figurine in a cereal box. From then on, you slept with Spongebob and wanted to take him with you whenever we ran an errand in the car. Your love of the Gingerbread Man started with your gingerbread man pajamas that you ask to wear most nights. Then, you recently discovered the Gingerbread Man storybook, which you have me read over and over and over again on most days. Some mornings you get so distraught when we have to take off your gingerbread man pajamas to put on daytime clothes, and the only way you'll calm down is if after they're off, you can "hold it" - clutch the pajamas to your chest for most of the morning. As for baseball, I think your love for it grew from your love of hats. One day you discovered a baseball hat of Cy's that didn't fit him yet, and you claimed it as your own (which you would like to do of most of his things if you had your way). You wore that baseball hat almost every day, and from there discovered what a baseball bat was, and then your daddy introduced you to your first baseball game on television. Now if you have to go to bed when baseball is on TV, you give Mommy and Daddy kisses and then go give the TV a kiss too before you head off to bed. But, only if baseball is on.

Charlotte enjoying the gingerbread man cookie batter for her birthday cookies.

You do have a couple typical toddler habits. One is your fascination of boogies. The other is your desire to "do self" everything. The combination of the two happened a couple weeks ago. I was changing your diaper and saw you had a boogie in the corner of your nose. I went to pick it and you got rather agitated, calling out, "Do self! Do self!". I said, "You want to pick your boogie yourself?" You said, "yes, put back, do self!", and you had me put your boogie back into your nose so that you could then, very satisfyingly, pick it out yourself. You want to do most things yourself, and lots of times if we give help unsolicited, you make sure you "undo" whatever was done and do it yourself from the beginning of the task, unassisted. Even to the smallest thing, like a couple nights ago, when I was tucking you in, I lovingly brushed your hair out from your eyes, and you got a little frustrated and said, "do self!". You brushed your hair back over your eyes, then proceeded to brush your hair out of your eyes "self". I try to let you do as much as possible on your own, start to finish, but also try to encourage you that there are times when you will need help and you need to learn how to ask for it.

You've never been terribly free with your affections, but you have definitely become a bit more cuddly in the past few months. One of your first phrases was, "up please", so that we'd pick you up and show you all that was happening on our level. You still want up and often ask for hugs now. You love cuddles with your Daddy after your nap time when he's home on the weekends, but still request that I put you down for bed. We will pray and then I sing you your nightly request - "Jesus Loves Me". Often you then request me to say goodnight to all your animals on your bed too, which can be a bit time consuming, as there is Puppy, Puddles, Ducky, Sally, Sammie, Baby Doll, Teddy Bear, Dolly, Spongebob, and even Blankie. One day while you were playing on your own, I saw you say "night night" to all your animals, one by one, turn on the sound machine, and then walk out the door and close it behind you - just as I do for you each night.

Charlotte in her favorite gingerbread man pajamas.

Your world was a little shaken with the addition of your little brother, although over the past six months, you've slowly begun to warm to him. Whenever we're out in public and come up to someone new, the first thing you do is point to Cy and say, "This is Cy!", with all the smiles of a very proud big sister. Most nights you won't go to bed if I don't let you "kiss Cy" first; so, I lower you into his crib to give him a little kiss while he lay there sleeping. You two just started sleeping in the same room, and although I know at times you really can't stand him even touching you, I have a feeling it will be difficult for you the day you two no longer share a room. I often hear you calling out sweetly, "quiet Cy", if he wakes up at night or in the morning and starts crying. If I have to do something in another room and I hear Cy crying because he's been left alone, I ask you to go in and keep him company. You hurry off to your brother, lay right next to him and start chatting away. He in turn loses the tears and gets a big smile on his face. You definitely have a way of lighting him up - he really does adore you. You are also more and more willing to share as the months go by and are learning that we are a family who loves one another and shares our things with each other. I'm glad sharing has never been too difficult a task for you. You always wanted to share from a very young age, and will even share your last piece of desert without us asking. I know it's different with a little brother who has all of a sudden intruded upon your life, but you've been facing the task well and getting better every day. 

My hope and prayer as you grow older is that you would look back on this time in your life and know you were deeply loved. More importantly, that our love for you helped lead you to your Heavenly Father, who has a love for you that far surpasses any we could ever give you. I hope we're able to show you daily how very much He cares for you and that the purpose for all we do in your life and for your life is to give Him the glory. I pray that one day you will have a faith and knowledge of our Lord so great that it puts ours to shame. That one day we will be learning from you and you will be encouraging us to remember how very big He is. I love you so much Charlotte. More than you will ever know. But our Lord loves you far more. You are ultimately His and your Father and I have the great blessing of being entrusted with your care for the time you are here with us. You are my little love. My sweetheart. My sweet pea. I love you Charlotte. Happy Birthday.

Love,
Mommy

Cy's First and Charlotte's Second Halloween

Charlotte doesn't like getting "dressed up". Her grandma prepared a special "tea time" for her and her cousin, Christine, while we were in Baltimore, with all the typical girlie enjoyments, such as dress up clothes, jewelry, and tiaras. But, the only thing we could get Charlotte to wear was the necklace. So, I was a bit worried about Halloween and her lack of enthusiasm about dressing up. I decided to prepare her for a day or so in advance, letting her know that if she wore her kitty cat costume (the one she currently had her puppy wearing), that she would get cookies. She doesn't know what candy is, but she is acutely aware of the word cookie, so I thought I'd start there. We meet up with some other families and kids her age and go trick-or-treating around their neighborhood, and I knew she'd love it, but it wouldn't be nearly as much fun if she didn't wear her costume (nor would there be nearly as many "cookies"). So, that morning I was able to finagle her to get puppy out of the kitty cat costume and her into it, and we started talking about a night full of cookies. Cy, well, he's a different story. You could probably dunk him into a vat of glue and cover him with feathers and he'd still have a smile on his face, so I wasn't too worried about him. We ended up having a great night with all our friends, and Charlotte got to enjoy her first "cookie" (ie. Baby Ruth bar) after lunch today.

What? There's more to the costume?

Teddy Bear and Kitty Cat - I promise, she really was happier than she looks here.

The adoring brother and the indifferent sister. Man, that little guy loves his big sister!

My little animals.